Page 97 of Missing Pieces (Men of Manhattan 3)

Hailey

Monday

A pat on the back. A kiss on the cheek. A squeeze of the shoulder. There were tons of people around me. So why did I feel so alone? It was like I couldn't feel anything but my aching heart.

I dropped the first handful of dirt on top of my father's coffin. It made this horrible thud. That sickening sound was the cue for everyone to leave. But I continued to stand there long after everyone else was gone. Long after the rest of the dirt had been shoveled onto his grave. Long after the last look of pity.

It was the middle of summer but I was freezing cold. I wrapped my arms around myself.

People were heading back to the house, but I couldn't bear to follow them. And I didn't want to leave my dad. I didn't want him to be alone. I knelt down in the dirt by his grave and touched the headstone.

"Dad," I whispered. "I miss you." I let my hand fall from the stone and clutched it around myself again. "I don't know how to keep going without you."

I lay down beside his grave. "It's not the same here without you." I pressed my hand against the dirt and let my tears fall. I closed my eyes and thought about out last conversation. He had told me I was bigger than this town. But this was my home. Where else would I go?

***

"Hon."

I opened my eyes. I hadn't realized that it had grown dark. "Anna."

There were tears in her eyes as she knelt down beside me.

I had been pushing her away ever since I had come home. And I wasn't even sure why. She was the closest thing I had left to family. I had known her since I was a kid.

"Everyone's waiting for you." She put her hand on my shoulder.

"I can't. I don't want to leave him alone."

"He'll never be alone. Your father is in all of our hearts."

I wiped the tears off my cheeks as I slowly sat up. "Anna, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." She pulled my head to her shoulder as she let me cry.

She didn't mention going to the house again. Instead she just silently lay down beside me and we both stared up at the stars. I used to do this all the time with my dad. He'd point out constellations and I'd usually pretend I saw them too. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't see them, though. Maybe it was because I so easily got lost in the vastness of the sky. What had he always said was in the sky in the middle of summer? I searched the stars. Why couldn't I remember? Why couldn't I see it?

"Scorpius is out tonight," Anna said and pointed to the sky.

And for some reason, the realization hit me hard. Anna was a single mom. She came over to our house all the time. I considered her kind of an unofficial Aunt. But it was more than that. I wasn't sure why I didn't see it before. I felt a million years older after the past few days. How long had my dad and her been more than friends? I had been so blind. About my dad being sick. About this. I bit the inside of my cheek. "Did you love him?" I asked.

She sniffled beside me. "With all my heart."

I grabbed Anna's hand in the cold grass. "Thank you for being there for him when I wasn't."

She squeezed my hand. "He wanted you to go out there and live your life. He was happy that you were doing that, even though he did miss you."

The stars blurred in the sky.

"And he certainly didn't want you to stop living your life after his ended. You need to go out there and live."

I don't have anywhere to go.

Chapter 53

Hailey

Wednesday

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