Page 134 of Sins (The Sins Trilogy 1)
I shake my head, remembering what Sam said about how it would cost Tony. “Don’t. He’s not worth it.”
“There’s nothing I won’t do to keep you safe.” He places a tender kiss on my forehead, then starts putting my things away.
“Hold on,” I say from the bed, my legs still feeling like noodles. Shivers are still running through me. “I don’t want to stay here tonight.”
I get up unsteadily and make a concerted effort to regain control of my body. Then I grab my toiletries from the bathroom and add them to one of the suitcases. Tony takes it, and I hold his hand as we go downstairs.
Julie clears her throat. “Is everything okay? I’m sorry. About Sam.”
“It’s okay. You didn’t know.” Besides, I’ve always told her he took care of me, so she had no reason to believe he would be such a jerk. “But if he comes back again, don’t let him in.”
“Definitely. You need anything?”
I shake my head. “I think I’ll stay with Tony tonight.”
She gives Tony a small nod. “Take care of her.”
“I will,” he replies.
She hugs me. “Sorry again. Be safe.”
I hug her back, squeezing hard, so she knows we’re good. Then Tony and I leave, climb into the back of the waiting Cullinan and pull away.
After a few minutes, he asks, “Does Sam always become that agitated over videos?”
“‘Always’? It’s not like I’m a big YouTube star or anything.” I shrug. “He was unhappy about Byron’s video, but didn’t yell about it too much because he wanted me to play at that reception. This time, though… I mean, he’s never tried to forcibly ship me off to Asia before. He’s usually more on the persuasive side.”
Tony’s eyes narrow into two brilliant green slits. “What’s his deal this time, then?”
“I think he was more upset we were together, but…” I pause. Sam seems to know this Margot, and maybe, just maybe, he’s worried about how Tony’s mother will feel. Will she disapprove of me? “Do you think your mother’s going to be upset?”
Tension starts radiating from Tony. “I don’t know.” He hesitates, then adds, “I haven’t seen her in the best part of a decade.”
Oh, crap.If I were alone, I would literally be kicking myself. Marty and Sam both said Tony was disowned. Of course he hasn’t seen his mother, or knows what she might think about who he dates. But he obviously still loves and cares about her deeply. Ugh, I’m such an idiot, picking at his painful past. I should just stop talking before I do any more damage.
Tony’s quiet for a moment. “If Sam weren’t trying to force you, would you want to go to Tokyo?”
“No! Do you know why I came to L.A.? To settle down. I’m tired of traveling around the world.”
“Okay. It’s just, most people would love the opportunity.”
“Believe me, I’ve had the opportunity. It’s fun your first year. After that, not so much. It’s like…” Suddenly, the way I felt traveling in Europe and Asia finally clicks.
“What?” Tony asks.
“Like being exiled,” I whisper.
Oh my God. How come I never thought of that until now? It was a punishment…never allowed to return…forever forced to wander the globe, like some medieval curse. It didn’t matter what I wanted. Except I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it. Or why Sam always presented it as a treat for me. Or as a way to recover and be happy. Maybe that’s why it took me this long to put it together—because deep inside, I needed to believe he truly wanted me to be happy. But now, I see how foolish I was to cling to that belief, putting an optimistic gloss on his motivation because he was the only person by my side when I was at my weakest and most vulnerable.
“I know it sounds melodramatic, but seriously, that’s how it was. The trips were always luxurious and nice, but it was clear I wasn’t supposed to come home.” I lean closer to Tony. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes,” he says, his eyes sympathetic. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“So you don’t think I’m weird for feeling this way, right?”
“No.” He looks at me, thoughts I can’t fathom crossing his face. “I’ve had the same thing happen to me.”
Oh, Tony. I lay a hand over his and squeeze. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
