Page 31 of Sins (The Sins Trilogy 1)
I burst out of my chair, my entire body clenched and burning with anger and frustration. “Why not?”
She doesn’t flinch. “To earn forgiveness, remorse should come from the heart. Without any ulterior motive.”
“Mother—” My voice breaks.
“You don’t deserve to be forgiven, Anthony.”
Pain lances through me. The weight on my chest triples, breathing becomes hard, and I feel like my knees are about to fold.
Even as I struggle with my anguish, I see the grief on every line of her face—the deathly pallor on her skin. I did that to her nine years ago. I…I screwed up everything.
“Then hate me, but don’t torment yourself,” I beg her. I just want her to be happy. Not suffering because of me.
“I do hate you,” she says, her voice hoarse and thick with emotion. “I hate myself, too, for ever thinking a monster like you was pure or perfect.”
She couldn’t have delivered a more devastating blow. My whole body starts to shake.
“Would it make you feel better if I died?” The painful words tear from my throat. I dread the answer, but I almost wish she’d just tell me to go slit my wrists. My life is pure agony, and now that I know she’ll never forgive me, death seems like a better, simpler option.
“Oh no,” she says. “I don’t want you anywhere near my Katherine. Even in the afterlife.”
Anger, frustration, self-loathing and despair flow through me, each a deadly and acidic poison to my soul. Darkness swallows me, leeching all the warmth from my life. My teeth chatter, shivers running through me.
I realize then…I may never be in light or warmth again.
