Page 120 of Secrets (The Sins Trilogy 2)
Chapter Forty-Five
Iris
I pace. It’s already after nine, and Tony’s not home yet.
Where is he?
I even managed to send Bobbi home, after swearing I wasn’t going to jump into the pool or do anything crazy. It’s impossible to be romantic and intimate with an audience.
I stop and take in the romantic scene. Yuna did an amazing job. Countless candles emit soft light from the floor, on the table, along the stairs. If they were real tea lights, they would’ve burned out by now, but they’re electric. Instead of a bare bulb sticking out on top, each one blows a gentle breeze through a hole in the center, which makes a flame-shaped piece attached to the top dance. It makes the light look real and natural.
The dining table has platters of cold cuts of meat, cheese and chilled champagne. Well, it isn’t that chilled now because the ice cubes have melted. Eight vases of tiger lilies emit a soft fragrance, but they only remind me I’m alone here without Tony.
I pull one long stem from the vase on the table. Suddenly, exhaustion crushes me. I slump on a couch, the tiger lily resting on my belly. I was so sure he’d be home. Maybe I should’ve considered Tony might have plans on a Friday. He’s a busy man. Maybe Audrey came back. Maybe…
I stop. He wouldn’t go back to Audrey. That’s crazy. I’m just tired. I haven’t slept much, and disappointment is leeching away what little reserve of energy I have.
Tony could’ve gotten tired of waiting for you to make up your mind. A week is a long time.
Maybe. But I’m not leaving until I talk with him. I didn’t go through all this just to give up…
A prickling of awareness runs through me. I open my eyes, then blink to focus.
Tony’s crouched in front of me, his gaze intent on my face. Air sticks in my throat. His cheeks are hollow from weight loss. His green eyes are bloodshot, and several days’ growth of beard covers his face.
He’s completely still, not even blinking. I can barely feel his breath, although I can smell alcohol on him.
I sit up slowly, sorrow blooming in my heart. No wonder TJ was angry with me. I didn’t realize Tony was suffering this badly. I should’ve rushed here at four a.m. yesterday instead of waiting until now.
“Tony,” I whisper.
His gaze is roaming over me. “Are you real or am I dreaming?”
“I’m very real.” I lay a hand over his cheek so he can feel me.
He places a tender kiss in the center of my palm, his eyes still on mine. He hasn’t blinked even once, as though he’s afraid if he lets me out of sight even for a millisecond, I’ll vanish. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I flush with embarrassment. “Listen, Tony. There’s something I have to say.”
“Are you leaving me?”
“Uh, what?” I look around. The faux-candles are still glowing romantically. And the tiger lilies are the same. What gave him that impression?
His whole body’s wound tight. “Thought maybe you were. This looks like a last supper or something.”
Guilt and remorse bloom in my heart. His reaction isn’t even rational, and all I told him is I needed to talk to him. Didn’t the candles give him any idea that this isn’t a goodbye? “I’m not leaving you.”
The wariness doesn’t ease.
“And you ought to eat. I can’t believe you, after nagging me for weeks to take better care of myself.” I stop, then shake myself mentally. I’m not here to talk about that. “About what I’m here to say…” I inhale deeply to gather courage. I’ve never been this emotionally vulnerable to someone before. Even though Tony’s never been anything but supportive, it’s still scary. “Last Friday, I learned something upsetting and scary about myself. I’ve been so obsessed about it that I didn’t realize how I was hurting you. I want to be strong for you—and brave enough for you. If you’ll still have me…” I lick my lips, then reach out and hold his face between my palms. “I love you, Anthony Blackwood. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved, and I know you’re the only one for me. There are times I’m really, really scared because you’re so perfect that I don’t think I deserve you. But I can never give you up. Will you marry me?”
He finally blinks. I can see all the thoughts and emotions drain out of him as my words sink in. My heart racing, I stare into his eyes. Sanity returns first, then joy…the most blinding and brilliant love fills his gaze.
“Yes. God, yes. A billion times yes.”
His mouth crashes down on mine. Relief and joy overflows my heart. I return the kiss, desperate for him. It’s been so long since we touched. Loved. Took pleasure in each other’s bodies.
I glide my tongue against his and shiver with delight. He tastes like hard liquor and frenzied lust.
