Page 127 of Secrets (The Sins Trilogy 2)
Chapter Forty-Nine
Iris
Butterflies are fluttering in my belly. I keep rubbing my hands, which feel clammy now. Maybe it’s the rain.
My dress is a lavender Versace. It’s cute and classy, with an off-the-shoulder bodice and a flirty skirt made of thin material that swirls every time I turn. The dress and nude sandals seemed like a great idea back home, but now that we’re sitting in Ryder’s mansion and about to face the guests, I’m rethinking my choices.
“Do I look okay?” I ask Tony for the fifth time.
“You look perfect.” He holds my hand, then kisses it. “Your fingers are cold. Why are you so nervous?”
“Because it’s our first public event as a couple.” I breathe slowly to make sure I don’t hyperventilate. So many people are here, many of them Tony’s friends and acquaintances. “What if they don’t like me?” What if they think Tony could’ve done better? That he’s, like, settling? What if I do or say something weird?
“They’ll love you.” Tony smiles. He looks amazing in a white button-down shirt and black slacks and jacket. No tie. Tony didn’t want one, and Yuna agreed, saying it’s a party, not a “who has the nicest tux” competition.
“I don’t know…”
Thunder cracks outside, making me jump and move closer to Tony. What started out as a light drizzle on our way here, making TJ complain that SoCal people drive like crap in the rain, became a full-blown storm after we arrived. I hate it, but not for the same reason. Storms always spike my anxiety, especially when the sky’s raging at night. It always feels like I’m being dragged into a horrible pit, which, once in, I’m never escaping from. Maybe I should just tell Tony I’m not feeling well and cancel…
I stop, then shake myself mentally. I promised myself I’d be strong and brave. Am I being strong and brave?
No.
Didn’t I know it wouldn’t be easy to love a man as extraordinary as Tony? I’ve seen how he is around most people. He won’t even let them call him Tony, pointedly reminding them his name is Anthony. He always maintains a certain distance and aloofness, but not with me. From the very beginning, he let his guard down, pulled me closer until I’ve become the center of his universe—just like the sun, moon and stars on the pendant he gave me.
I can do this. For him. For myself.
“It’s time,” Yuna says, sticking her head into the room where Tony and I have been waiting.
Our fingers linked tightly, we step out into the huge hall together. Ryder’s mansion is gorgeous, contemporary and classy, with beautiful artworks. He’s letting us use the ground level for the party.
I blink at the number of people who are gathered, clapping as we enter the hall, Bobbi following discreetly. Yuna said the party was going to be “small.” We have to be violating the fire code or something.
I recognize a few guests from celebrity gossip sites. But most are totally new to me. There are so many, all of them wanting to stop and congratulate us, that it’s hard to make our way. Tony seems to know all of them and responds politely, but not always with warmth. He also makes introductions, but nothing sticks in my head for more than a second. Trying to keep track of all the faces and names is harder than memorizing Rachmaninoff’s entire second piano concerto in one afternoon. And if this many are here for the engagement, how many will come to the wedding?
I whisper the question in Tony’s ear.
“It was supposed to be small. People got ten days’ notice, so I figured most wouldn’t bother,” he says, his voice low. “And I thought even if they said they’d come, they wouldn’t because the weather’s crappy.”
“So how come they’re all here?”
“Probably because I’ve never been linked to a woman this long…or fallen in love. You’re the only one, and people are curious.” A small frown.
I remember how Julie told me about the horrible womanizing reputation Tony has. Maybe it’s been bugging him more than it should. I pat his hand with a grin. “They shouldn’t care so much about your reputation. You’re one of the nicest people I know.”
“Is that so?” he whispers into my ear, his hot breath fanning my skin.
I tilt my head, so he can see the truth in my eyes. “Yes. If the rep were real, I would’ve never fallen in love with you.”
Instead of making him smile, what I said seems to bring shadows to his gaze. I don’t get it. Is there something else to what people say about him that I missed?
I want to ask him what’s wrong, but don’t get the opportunity. People are starting to make toasts, and I have to pick up a flute of champagne from a waiter and raise it.
But I make a mental note to ask Tony about it later. I want to fix whatever’s making him feel sorrow or regret…just like he’s been doing for me.
