Page 152 of Secrets (The Sins Trilogy 2)
Chapter Sixty
Ivy
Julie doesn’t probe or ask questions as I go through it. She’s uncharacteristically quiet, as though she can sense I’m barely clinging to control. Throughout my talk, she’s sympathetic, nodding when appropriate, rubbing my back when I need physical contact and comfort. She plucks a few Kleenex and hands them to me when I start sobbing.
“I’m so sorry,” she murmurs. “What a bastard. You should’ve kicked his ass.”
“I know,” I say, grateful for her empathy with the despair in my heart. “I can’t believe I didn’t get to slap him, not even once.”
“Next time I see him, I’ll do it for you. And you know what? Ivy is a gorgeous name. It suits you.”
“Thank you. It’s weird. I feel like I’m in some kind of messed-up movie.”
She shrugs. “It doesn’t matter what your name is. You’re still my friend.”
“You’re the best.” I hiccup, then bury my face in my hands when a fresh wave of tears come. Thank God for Julie. I need somebody honest on my side. I don’t think I could bear it otherwise.
When I’m all cried out, she takes me to a guest bedroom and has me change and lie down. “Why don’t you get some rest?” she says quietly.
“Thanks, Julie.”
“What are friends for? Holler if you need anything.” She squeezes my hand and leaves me alone in the room.
At first, I lie there, thinking there’s no way I can sleep when my mind’s churning. But I must’ve been more exhausted than I thought, because before I know it, it’s Monday.
I wake up early and get ready for work. I have to stay on a routine or I’m going to drive myself crazy. Routine kept me sane when I recovered enough to leave the hospital after waking up, and this isn’t going to be any different. I’m not going to let Ton—no, Anthony’s—mind games turn me into some kind of helpless puddle of goo.
As I put on my work dress, I notice the pearl ring missing on my finger. The sight sends a sharp pang in my heart, but I clench my teeth. It isn’t a symbol of love like I thought. It’s a symbol of “Ivy is an idiot.” I’m better off without it. Without Anthony.
But, like an idiot, for some reason I can’t bear to take off the damned medallion. I stick it under my clothes so nobody can see it. It’ll just be my secret shame until I can make myself yank it off and toss it in his face.
Julie’s already in the kitchen by the time I come out. Fresh coffee drips from the coffeemaker, and she’s munching on dry cereal from a bowl, just the way she likes it. “Want some?” she says.
“Yes, please.” I grab a bowl and pour out a handful of cornflakes. I don’t bother with milk. That would be too much for my stomach. It already feels like there’s an acidic hole in the middle.
“You want anything special for dinner? Otherwise, I’m making spaghetti and meatballs,” Julie says. That’s her specialty. She claims she got the recipe from an old woman in Sicily.
“It’s okay. I’m going to be late anyway.”
Julies scowls. “The foundation making you work overtime?”
“No, I’m going to look for a realtor after work.” It’s about time I become self-sufficient, so I don’t have a repeat of standing in the lobby and wondering where to go. And that means getting a place of my own.
“I don’t mind if you stay here a while.” She clears her throat, shifting her weight. “Actually, it’d be great if you’d stay. My place has four bedrooms, and is really too big for one person. If you don’t mind, you know…the clutter and mess.”
I give her a faint smile. She doesn’t think I noticed, but I saw the furtive concerned looks she threw at me while I told her everything upon my arrival. “Thanks, but it’s about time I stand alone on my own. I’ve been too dependent on other people.”
“No woman is an island, and all that. It’s okay to lean on people.” She gulps down her coffee. “It’s in our wiring, or else we’d live alone, like male bears. Not even single mom bears want them around, because they suck.” She stops, then makes a “what the hell am I saying” face.
I know the point she’s trying to make. But she’s so wrong, she can’t come up with a good example to support it. “Exactly. Men suck. And even female bears know they need to stand alone.” I wash down the last bite of my cereal. “At least I’m not pregnant like those mom bears.” That was a real, bright possibility before—Anthony and me getting married…having children eventually. Aren’t I lucky I found out what a lying SOB he was before we had babies and ruined their lives, too?
If I repeat it to myself enough times, the hollowness in my heart will go away. I’ll go back to feeling like myself again.
There are knocks on the door. Julie scowls.
“Is that Byron?” I can’t think of anybody else who would be visiting this early. I doubt Anthony sent somebody to get me. He knows his game is over. What’s the fun of toying with a pawn who knows too much?
Julie shakes her head. “He’s out of town until next week.” She goes over and opens the door. “What the hell are you doing here?” she demands as Bobbi steps around her and walk inside.
