Page 93 of Secrets (The Sins Trilogy 2)
* * *
Iris
Bobbi drives me home. She ignores all my protestations that I’m fine.
“If I’d known you’d react like this, I wouldn’t have let you meet that man,” she says, her jaw flexing.
I wouldn’t have gone to see him if I’d known. Thoughts jumble and circle in my head. If I hadn’t driven so recklessly, I wouldn’t have lost control of the car. If I’d gotten the seatbelt fixed, the other girl could’ve lived. If I’d learned to swim back then, maybe Sam could’ve pulled her out instead. Maybe the first responders could’ve saved her. Then her mom wouldn’t have been so torn with grief and anger. She must hate me.
The weight of guilt suffocates me. I should at least remember the mother’s face. Her pain. Instead, I’m living a happy life with a man who loves me. I’ve felt no remorse anywhere along the way. Nothing for the friend I killed. But the girl…she should be the one living a happy life. What a self-centered hypocrite am I to think I’m making a difference just because I work at the foundation? It isn’t enough to erase my debt.
And I didn’t even get her name.Just what kind of horrible person am I that I forgot to ask?
Bobbi escorts me all the way to the living room. It’s freezing, the air conditioner blowing quietly.
“You can go now. You don’t have to stay,” I tell her, and go out onto the sunny deck.
My legs are shaky, but they hold. I take off my shoes, but my feet are too icy to feel the warmth of the sun. The infinity pool sparkles like a rectangular diamond. My bare feet curled over the edge, I look at the water. A gentle breeze ruffles the surface, making beams of sunlight dance on the bottom of the pool. The fluid motion beckons me…
Jump in and remember.
* * *
Anthony
I’m probably overreacting. Ivy’s probably just a little under the weather, I tell myself. She was fine in the morning. Upbeat. She had a good appetite. She’s been eating well enough that she’s filling out, regaining the weight she lost since the accident in Tempérane.
Bobbi calls me as TJ’s a block away from home.
“What’s wrong? Why is she home?” I demand before she can get a word out.
“She’s not feeling well. She dismissed me for the day, but I’m not sure about leaving her alone.”
Smart woman. “See if Dr. Young can come by.”
I jump out of the Cullinan before it comes to a complete stop and rush into the building. The elevator goes up and up and up. Jesus. Why is it so slow? Sweat beads and trickles down my back as anxiety drums in my veins.
When the damn car finally stops on my floor, I burst into our home, ripping my jacket off. It’s too damn hot in the place. Bobbi’s in the kitchen, on the phone, probably with Dr. Young’s receptionist. I swivel my head around, looking for Iris.
“Where is she?” I say.
Bobbi points to the deck, and then her face goes white.
* * *
Iris
I first realized that the girl in the car was someone from my past when I fell into the pool at Sam’s. If I jump in again now, knowing her mother gave me the dress, will I recall more? Will that lessen the guilt? I should remember. That’s the only thing the girl’s mother wanted me to do.
The time I remembered her… I fell into the water alone. Sam jumped in afterward to pull me out. I’ve never gone into the pool at Tony’s without him around because I’m still less than confident about my swimming ability.
If I plunge into the water now…alone…maybe I’ll know more.
I step off the edge.
