Page 105 of Mercy (The Sins Trilogy 3)
“I’m doing my best,” I say, moved by Yuna and her mother’s care.
“That’s all we can ask. Your best.” She pats my hand. “I’m sure you’ll make her happy. You love her too much not to. I have faith in you.”
Her simple words hit me like a fist to the heart. My best was never enough before. Certainly Mother didn’t think so. But this woman, who’s decided to put Ivy under her wing, says my best effort is enough to deserve Ivy.
I have faith in you.
My eyes are prickling with something that feels embarrassingly like tears. I look away briefly to bring myself under control. “Perhaps you should wait until you know me better.”
“How much more should I know you?” she asks. “I already know enough. Your family. Your sister. The hunting accident, and how you were banished.”
I inhale sharply. She might as well have backhanded me with that bombshell. It’s something Father hid from the public as much as he could, and I didn’t think someone from a place as far away as Korea would know. I clench my clammy hands to hide the tremor. “How?”
“If you ask the right people, they talk. It’s been long enough that they talk over too many beers at a bar.”
Should’ve expected she would’ve hired PIs to look into my past. Into the ugliness and mistakes I made. The old shame and guilt reverberate on my mind.
Suji continues, “I’m proud you overcame that. Some people never rise above their past. You’ve made something of yourself, and on your own. Your empire. Your dynasty. You earned respect, power.”
I can’t speak. Emotions are thick in my throat. She’s telling me what I longed to hear from my own mother, but never will. Her words are measured and calm, with a tinge of pride and high regard.
As tangled emotions crackle through me, I realize how much I’ve needed to hear that I was okay. That I wasn’t a total fuckup. That I did something right. It’s embarrassing and confounding that Mrs. Min is the one to tell me.
“In America, brides take their husbands’ name. In Korea, we don’t. Since I regard Ivy as mine, you can be part of the Hae family, too. You don’t have to be alone, for the wedding or anything else.”
“Thank you.”
The Cullinan stops.
“We’re here.” She puts a hand on my shoulder. “What do you think of Armani? I think it’s classic and perfect for you.”
“I agree,” I say, doing my best to get my emotions under control. It’s incredible how this woman can easily soothe my old hurt and smooth the jagged edges that I didn’t realize had been cutting into me all this time. Maybe I’ve been living with them for so long that I just got used to them.
I let her lead me into the boutique and make me the center of attention, having a bunch of clerks rush out with various suits. It’s vaguely awkward, mainly because I’m not sure if I’m supposed to let her fuss over me like this. At the same time, it feels rude to object, especially after the gentle talk she had with me.
She studies the way each suit looks critically. Finally, after I’ve tried ten or eleven on, one of her assistants says, “That one looks great.”
“You think so too?” Suji says. “He’s such a fine man; everything looks good on him. I feel like I should get one of each.”
I look at Suji with faint alarm. She might just do it. The assistant smiles.
Suji selects two—one in black and one in charcoal pinstripes.
“I thought the tradition was just a suit,” I say.
“Yes, but I like both, and I hate making decisions. And why decide in the first place? If I want both, I should have both.” She checks the way the clothes settle over my shoulders and chest. “See? You look fantastic. We need cuff links to go with them, but I don’t think they have anything I want,” she says. “I’ll have Masako Hayashi make a set for you. Something special and unique.”
“That won’t be necessary. I have lots of cuff links.” She’s done so much already, and I don’t just mean the new suits.
“Ah, but they aren’t from me, so they don’t count. No outfit is complete without the right accessories. I already told Ivy that her bridal set is something she can pass down to your children. It’s the same for the cuff links. Leave the details to me.”
“Okay. And thank you,” I say, because it’s the right thing to say under the circumstances, and she won’t accept anything else. Then I change back into my clothes and let the sales clerk take the suits back for adjustments.
“I’m hungry,” Suji says. “We should have lunch. What are you in the mood for?”
Hunger isn’t the top thing on my mind even though it’s way past lunchtime. Mild bewilderment mixed with warm affection is. I don’t know what she likes, but maybe I should pick the cuisine she is most familiar with and misses.
“Korean food?” I suggest.
