Page 129 of Mercy (The Sins Trilogy 3)
Chapter Forty-Three
Ivy
I’m feeling better after a shower and a short nap. The headache is mostly gone, and I feel refreshed. The memory from the scene of the accident fleets back into my mind from time to time, sending chills, but I try to push it away. I need to focus on getting through the family dinner at the main Blackwood mansion tonight.
“Just so you know, I’m going to confront Mother there,” Tony says.
“You don’t want to wait?” I ask only because I’m worried about him alienating his father. There’s part of me that hopes at least he and his dad can reconcile. But if Tony ambushes his mom without letting his dad know what’s going on, maybe things won’t be so amicable. On the other hand, Tony and I won’t want any sort of relationship with his dad if he defends his wife even after learning that she might be involved in the accident that killed Charlene and almost did me in as well.
“No. It has to be done in front of the family, on her turf, when she’s fully in control and not expecting a challenge.”
I run my hands along his tense shoulders and arms, understanding his logic but hating that this is the best way. It’s easier to ignore the recording, except that’s no real solution. “Then do it. I trust your judgment.”
He leans forward until his forehead rests on mine. “Thank you.”
We have a moment, and then I pull away. “So what do I need to wear for this?” I packed several dresses for various occasions, but I’m not sure exactly what Margot has in mind for dinner.
“Something formal. She’s going to serve a six-course meal.”
“Fancy.” And very much like her, based on the impression I’ve gotten. Image and public perception are paramount to her.
I put on a wine-colored dress with a fitted bodice and matching shoes. I debate about my hair, then twist it into an updo, mainly to keep my neck cooler. Although Edgar’s home is air-conditioned, the brutal humidity is always lurking.
Tony dresses in a suit and tie. He looks marvelously in control in his power outfit. I pick up his monogrammed platinum cuff links and put them into his shirt, enjoying the quiet, couple-like task.
“Thank you.” He smiles. “You look perfect. Radiant.” He runs his finger over the sun, moon and star medallion around my neck.
Tenderness fills his gaze, and my heart swells in response. He’s going to fight everyone—including his own parents—to keep me safe. Although the confrontation to come is tying my stomach into knots, I find strength in him and kiss him softly. I squeeze his hand, communicating my trust, solidarity and love.
Tony’s dad sends us a limo at a quarter after six. Edgar turns it down, preferring to go over early with his BMW. Tony asks Bobbi to drive the Escalade. It makes sense that we take our own car, especially if we need to leave after what’s sure to be an intense, terrible talk.
Tony holds my hand in the car on the way to his parents’ mansion. He smells of spice and soap from a recent shower. I tighten my hold on him, sensing his concern—not for himself, but for me…for us as a couple.
It doesn’t matter how many scenarios I go through in my mind—this night won’t end well. I can’t shake the feeling that Margot is not only involved, but will say something hateful to both of us. Her spite means little to me. My memory of her is more or less blank, and I don’t want or care about her approval. But Tony… It’s different for him.
“No matter what happens, we’re going to be fine.” I rest my head on his strong shoulder.
“We’ll see. You don’t know what she’ll say or do.”
“She’s your mother, not you. Whatever she did—or does—has nothing to do with you.” I turn our hands until I’m holding his with both of mine. “I’m more worried about you.”
“Me?” He blinks.
“She’s your mom. And that comes with emotions and need and a shared past.” Even though I don’t want to acknowledge it, she still has the power to cut him deeply.
I haven’t forgotten how she tried to make me rethink my relationship with Tony with the subtle mention of our statuses, my inferiority and then Tony’s past pain involving Katherine. Margot knows I matter to Tony, and she’s going to use me to hurt him if she can.
He looks away. “I’ve been disowned.”
“But she raised you for twelve years.” Adoring him as her favorite son until the hunting accident. Even though Tony acts like he isn’t affected, it has to be hard. I’ve noticed the way his gaze shutters, as though he can’t bear to let himself be open to her—to his own mom—while subtly bracing himself as though he’s about to be attacked where he’s the most vulnerable and defenseless. And unlike me, he remembers everything that happened. He must harbor deep feelings for his mom even if he doesn’t want to examine them.
The highway accident almost killed me, stole years from my life. Even though I survived, and even though Tony and I miraculously found each other again, for him to know that his mom might have something to do with that can’t be easy, no matter how brave and unaffected he tries to be.
I breathe slowly and deeply. The dinner won’t be easy for me either. My belly feels like it’s full of hyperactive bees. Still, having Tony with me makes everything bearable. Whatever happens tonight, we’re still going to be together. And in less than two weeks, we’ll be married.
When we arrive at the mansion, I take a moment and study the gigantic place. It isn’t like the slick, glossy mansions in Hollywood. The Blackwood family manse is stately, with a sense of entitled affluence and comfort about it. The huge grounds have been gardened and manicured with ruthless precision, and the place has countless flowers and trees. I see a huge old oak in front. The branches spread far and wide, creating a fairyland of dappled shade. I can see why the family held their weddings here. It’s a gorgeous place for it.
And I couldn’t be happier that we won’t be getting married here. Despite the beauty and grandeur, something about it feels oppressive, like a church where you go to repent your sins without any expectations of love or forgiveness in return.
