Page 27 of Mercy (The Sins Trilogy 3)
I brace myself. “What?”
“She wanted to know how close Ivy was to Sam. I told her I had no idea.”
What a bizarre thing for Mother to be curious about. Now I wonder how sincere her offer to help is, because she threatened Ivy about siding with me nine years back. Surely being close to Sam will compound her fault as far as Mother’s concerned.
“Anything else?” I ask.
“Nothing, really. But…” Harry hesitates, then leans closer. “I wonder if Mom’s becoming a little…erratic.”
She hasn’t been that emotionally stable since Katherine’s death, but I wonder what in particular has got Harry worried. “Why?”
“She’s really moody, swinging from one extreme to another. And visiting you? What the hell?” He squirms, shifting his weight from left to right and back. “I never mentioned this because I didn’t want to give you false hope or anything, but I think Dad regrets the whole situation with you.”
“You mean the disownment?” I say, with bitter amusement at Harry’s discomfiture.
It’s been seven years since I was officially cast out, but he knows I’ve been persona non grata since I was twelve. He should be used to it by now.
“He’s been keeping track of your business success,” Harry says, “and is proud of what you’ve accomplished.”
Torn between shock and anger, I stare at Harry, who’s sticking his hands into his pants pockets, shoulders hunched. Father has to know it’s too fucking late to be proud of me. Why would I need him now, when I’ve figured out how to be on my own without him? When I was floundering after losing Ivy, when the entire fiasco with Lauren happened, he wasn’t there for me.
And the weirdest thing is that I feel resentful about the situation in the first place. If it had been before I met Ivy, I might’ve clung to what Harry’s telling me as some kind of proof I’m not a totally unworthy piece of shit. But all I can think of now is that Father wasn’t there for me when I needed him the most. I was on my own to figure things out. And it’s been that way since I was twelve.
Why couldn’t Father have decided to have softer feelings for me earlier? Why couldn’t he have spoken to Mother when I returned to Tempérane after graduating from Princeton? We both wanted Mother to forgive me and heal the festering anger and grief over Katherine’s death. We both wanted our family to be whole again.
“How do you know?” I ask.
Harry clears his throat. “He told me to get something from his office, and I saw a binder with news clippings of you. I never mentioned it to him, but…I overheard him tell Mom maybe you’ve been gone from the family long enough.”
Bitterness mixes with resignation. “And she said no.”
He drops his head, and I look away. Strange how I used to want Father to speak up for me, but now that he’s finally done it, all I feel is hollowness. I might as well be watching a movie with an ending I figured out in the first act.
“It doesn’t matter, Harry.”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up. I know it’s upsetting.”
“I’m not expecting to be part of the family again. I’m grateful I still have you and Edgar, but Father and Mother are dead to me. At some point you have to give up on hopeless dreams if you want to survive. My only regret is Ivy. I don’t want her to feel embarrassed because I’ve been disowned.”
“I didn’t know she felt that way.”
“She might not.” I roll my weight on the balls of my feet. “She never said.”
“She probably doesn’t mind that much,” he says carefully. “What happened…isn’t exactly a secret.”
Fucking media. They never fail to mention it when they write about my financial empire. The black sheep succeeding in spite of his family gets more clicks.
“She’s on your side,” Harry says. “She won’t be upset or embarrassed about it. Edgar and I don’t care, so why should she?”
I give him a faint smile, but inside, the tension tightens. If Edgar and Harry decided to cut ties with me, it’d hurt like hell, but I’d live. But Ivy…
I look through the glass door to the living room where she and Ryder are chatting.
That would be the end of me.
