Page 89 of Baby for the Bosshole
“If you don’t stop, I’m going to kill you and dump you into one of those medieval common graves.”
“No, you won’t, because you’d hate the prison lifestyle. Anyway, expect some condoms in the mail.” He hangs up just as I’m about to burst a vein.
There’s a reason Dad likes him. Horses have blinders for their eyes. Joey has them for his ears. He only hears what he wants to hear and ignores the rest. He only conveys what Dad wants to convey, nothing else.
My phone buzzes. Hopefully it’s Amy, done with her thinking. After all, what Brenda did doesn’t deserve even a second.
But it’s a text from Huxley. I sigh.
–Huxley: I’m going to build a penal colony on your anus. Who wants to chip in?
He sent it to me and the five other brothers. What’s he talking about?
–Sebastian: I don’t want anything on my anus, but if it’s on yours, I’m in.
–Huxley: I meant your anus! Duck!
I roll my eyes. It’s obvious what the problem is.
–Me: Are you having Siri text us?
–Huxley: Yes. She’s terrible at this.
–Sebastian: Use your fingers.
–Huxley: Can’t. I’m driving.
–Me: Then stop texting until you can.
–Grant: What’s your anus supposed to be?
–Huxley: A planet.
–Me: Uranus?
–Huxley: Yes! Thank you! Ducking Siri.
I shake my head. What did he expect? It’s an imperfect technology.
–Noah: Are we putting Dad in the colony?
–Huxley: Yes. Exactly.
–Noah: Well, I’m all for that.
–Sebastian: Can we make it farther away?
–Nicholas: And colder?
–Griffin: What did he do now?
–Nicholas: What do you mean, what did he do now? He didn’t do anything to you?
–Griffin: Nope.
Lucky bastard.
–Huxley: Some chick tried to break into my place. She was naked under a trench coat.
