Page 103 of The Last Slayer
“Miguel is dead—”
“I loved him!”
We stared at each other, my harsh breathing the only sound in the room. Finally Ramiel said, without inflection, “Mortal infatuations pass.”
“Not this one.” It hurt to think about Miguel. To voice for the first time what he’d meant to me. Valerie knew, of course, but she was my sister and I’d never had to explain it. “He loved me for everything that I was.”
Unlike you.
I didn’t say the words, but they were there between us. Ramiel was wrong. I wasn’t infatuated with Miguel, but with him, the brilliant and magnetic demigod who had swooped into my life and changed everything. I’d foolishly thought he’d wanted me the way Miguel had. And why not? Ramiel had never shown any interest in Valerie or a job at the firm.
The girl does resemble Leh, I give you that, and I’m sure she’s decent in bed. But she’s a poor substitute. Leh wanted Nathanael.
Knowing what I now knew, I wished I hadn’t transformed into a mirror image of my mother. I would’ve been a little bit more certain of Ramiel’s feelings toward me if I had remained flat-chested and frizzy-haired.
“Listen, Ramiel. Listen very carefully, because I’m not going to say this again. I made a decision to trust you. Even though you’ve done some things that really pissed me off, the fact of the matter is that I’m still alive, and if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be. Neither would Valerie. So okay. Fine. You want me to go to Eastvale and claim it, I will, if for no other reason than to ensure I’ll have enough power to get the Triumvirate off my back and protect Valerie and Jack from them.” I took a step forward and pushed my index finger into his chest. “But my trust is for matters pertaining to the dragonlords. Not my—” I stopped. I’d almost said “heart” and I didn’t want him to know how much he affected me.
“Not your…?”
“My…emotional…whatever. I don’t know if yo
u like me because of who I am, or how I look, or if you even really like me at all. I thought we had something there, back at Nahemah’s, but now I’m not so sure. And now you’re trying to get Alexandros as an ally? I’m telling you, I can’t trust him…or anyone who consorts with his kind. In any case, understand this—you do not have the right to advise me about Miguel. I’ll find his killer sooner or later, and when I do, believe me, it’s not going to be pretty. What I do to the…thing that killed him is going to go down in demon history. So don’t get in my way.”
“I regret that you harbor such prejudice toward incubi. I am partly one, and Alexandros is, to that degree, my liege. Albeit in name only.”
I almost choked. “What?”
“Where do you suppose I derive the power to enter dreams and affect sexual desire?”
My knees felt weak. I had to lock them to remain standing and blinked hard to clear my vision. “You’re an incubus?”
He lifted his chin slightly. “One-quarter. Nobody knows about it except Alexandros, but that’s his right as the incubus king.”
“But Nahemah said—”
“She knows only that I am not a pure-blooded dragonlord.”
“So I’ve been…”
“Consorting with Alexandros’s kind.”
My brain refused the information, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t heard it. God…I…Ramiel was… It was bad enough that I was with a supernatural, but he was a quarter incubus, public enemy number one as far as I was concerned. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I want you to know. I want you to know who you’re with and know that even if you don’t trust me, I trust you.”
“No, no.” I shook my head. “This is a joke, right? I mean you’re pissed because I said I wasn’t going to play nice with the incubus king?”
Ramiel didn’t say anything. I stared into those green eyes, wishing I was telepathic so I could know what he was thinking. I couldn’t believe he was what he said he was. This had to be some huge cosmic joke.
“Ashera. It is my deepest secret. I am trusting you with it.”
It was just too much. I stood staring for what seemed an eternity. Finally I stepped back. “Well, the big day is coming soon, right?” I said. Of all the questions and thoughts that swirled in my head, that was the only thing I could say without breaking down in front of him. “I’m tired, so I’m going to bed early. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Ramiel looked as though there were still things he wanted to say, but in the end he nodded and left, for which I was grateful. I sank to the floor and hugged my knees. My heart ached so much I could only take shallow breaths. My eyes burned as I stared at my reflections, but no tears would come to the perfect face. I buried my head in my hands. Maybe I’d wake up tomorrow and this would all turn out to be a dream.
A dream I wouldn’t remember.
Eighteen
