Page 101 of One More Kiss

"You don't have to leave," David says, standing up beside me. There's something unsteady in his voice and it's such a severe change from the strong, sure tone he uses when he's being a trail guide.

"I do," I say, backing up toward the door. "I should go. You've already gone above and beyond for us. We should let you get back to your job."

He lets out a small sigh and runs his hands through his thick brown hair. "Before you go, I just want to say that I had a good time today."

"Me too," I say.

"I'd like to do it again."

I give him a sly smile. "Is this an upsell tactic to get people to come back and spend more money at the course?"

His face splits into a grin and I notice his eyes crinkle at the corners. "Maybe," he says. "But I really mean it. I want to spend more time with you, Kaylee. I don't pretend to understand the universe, but when it throws people in your path that make you feel seen, I assume it wants you to hang on to them."

The smile on my face falls away. My earlier thoughts of romance and having David in my life were all well and good as a dream, but when faced with them being a potential reality, they become a whole lot more messy. I've built up the angel from my memories to a larger than life figure. I've fallen for a version of him I've created in my mind and I don't know if I can disconnect the feelings I have for that version of him from the actual human David that's standing before me.

Besides, I'm a single mom. I can't just jump into a relationship with someone I've known for a couple of hours. I have to think about what that would do to Corbin. It's the reason I haven't dated at all since he was too tiny to remember.

Above all of it, maybe selfishly, I'm terrified of getting hurt again. I've never been with anyone who actually cared about me. I've never met someone who wanted me, really wanted all of me. Not just my body. That wanted to understand me, wanted to know me. Just like I know that David sees every inch of me, I also know that in the morning I will wake up to a world without him. I've watched time and time again as the people I love most so easily toss me aside like I never mattered. It's the reality of my life and I have a hard time believing that anything will ever change it.

I look at the man standing before me, with his perfect eyes and his honest smile, and I know that if I let him in, if I let him love me, I will end up being tossed aside again.

I look up into his eyes and I think about how much I love the idea of him. I think about how, as soon as I let myself, I could love him. I could love someone who gets me, who knows me and cares about every part of me. Someone who wants to spend time with me, who wants to spend time with my son.

I think about how good it feels to be wanted, to be seen, and then I think about how much it hurt when it all fell apart before.

But then the revelation comes as if it's a bucket of ice water poured over my head. I survived the worst. Yes, it left me broken and scared, but I survived it. And Corbin and I are fine on our own. We would be fine either way. David's love wasn't a requirement for that. Even if he gave it and took it away, we'd be no worse off than we are now.

I stand there in front of David, my back pressed against the door, Corbin asleep in my arms. I look up into his eyes, so sweet and warm and caring.

If I don't try to have this, if I don't take this chance, if I don't take this risk, I'll always wonder what could have been.

I stand there, my back pressed against the door and all my thoughts collide inside my head. I realize that, despite all my fears, I want him. I want him in my life and I want to try to be with him. I want to take a risk for once. I want to believe that he will stick around and that he will be the person who could help me through the hard times. I want to believe that I'm worth that and that, in the end, it will all be worth it.

I look up into David's eyes and the words flow out of me.

"I'd like that too," I say.

Then I lean forward and kiss him lightly on the cheek.

---