Page 135 of One More Kiss

“I knew you hadn’t let her in. Damnit I should have questioned her more but when I saw the EMTs bring you out my heart just broke.” She pats my back before sitting down beside me.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t what it looked like.” Mrs. Lawson doesn’t know my whole story, but she knows enough to understand that I wasn’t trying to end my life.

“Darlin’ I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could say to help you through this.”

For the next hour I explain everything that happened at the hospital and at Axe’s. I don’t know why but the more I talked the better I felt. Mrs. Lawson didn’t stop me once, she just let me word vomit everything out. After everything was said it felt like I had lost twenty pounds of weight off my shoulders.

At first we sat there quietly. Then she started laughing. Not just a soft giggle but an all-out roaring belly laugh. Most people would have been shocked, not me, this was pretty much what I expected. Mrs. Lawson isn’t the type to hold back on anyone. It took her a few minutes to calm down, but once she did I felt the air in the room change.

“Young lady, you may not want my opinion but you’re gonna get it. Let’s start with your mother. That woman needs some sense slapped into her. If I knew I could get along well up in the ole big house I would gladly offer to do it. Sadly, orange isn’t my color and I doubt they would give me a day pass every Sunday to go visit my son.”

I tried not to smile because I knew she was being serious. She shot me a nasty glare when she saw me biting my lip.

“Sorry, go on.” I tell her as I try to keep from busting out laughing.

“Ok, Ms. Chuckles, how about you explain to me how you can’t see what is right in front of you? That boy is in love with you. Anyone with eyes can see it. Do you not remember what he did last month?” She waits for me to answer but I’m still confused by her saying everyone knows Axe is in love with me. There’s no way he loves me, well other than a friend, not like she is saying. “Last month when you were trying to put together that bookcase all by yourself, which you knew you couldn’t do and only was trying to do it on your own because you said he had a date, and you didn’t want to bother him. Do you remember what happened when you dropped that shelf on your foot?” She raises her eyebrow at me while giving me the ‘you know where I’m going with this’ look.

“Yes, I remember. I still think I could have gotten it together if I hadn’t almost broken my foot.” I know I’m pouting a little bit, but I do believe if I hadn’t dropped that board I would have eventually finished it on my own.

“You keep telling yourself that sweetie.” She pats my hand in a motherly kind of way. “Now, do you remember what Axe did when I finally got you to text him to let him know I was taking you to go get an x-ray?”

Yes, I do remember. He told his date he had to go, paid for her Uber, and rushed over here before Mrs. Lawson could help me get dressed to go. I had been wearing a thin tank top and booty shorts while I was working on the bookcase. It was not an outfit that I could go out in, even if it was just to go to primary care for a quick x-ray.

“He took care of his date then came straight here to help me.” I mumble.

“Child, he did more than that and you know it. That date, as you so sweetly call her, was nothing more than a one night stand. Your man hasn’t dated anyone, not in the way dating is meant to be done, in years. He is in love with you. He’s waiting for you to heal enough for him to tell you. That night he did take care of the other woman, so he could rush back to the only woman he genuinely wants.” She sighs heavily when I don’t respond to her. “Tink, I could sit here and list all the things I’ve seen that man do for you. Every single little detail, but it’s not gonna do a damn bit of good if you’re not willing to open those eyes of yours and see what everyone else sees.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to see it.” I whisper. “What if I do look more closely at everything Axe has ever done for me, and I see what you see, what then? What if doing that changes everything for us? What happens if we don’t work out? We would never be able to go back to being just friends. I can’t lose him. I won’t lose him. If it means we end up marrying other people than so be it, because I don’t think I’m strong enough to take a chance when one of the endings could mean Axe is no longer in my life.” I felt the tears start to roll down my cheeks and I don’t bother to stop them. I let them fall as I start to sob at just the thought of losing Axe all together.

“Sweet child, you’d never lose him.” Mrs. Lawson softly tells me as her arms wrap around me.

She lets me cry it all out. Afterwards she walks me to my apartment and unlocks the door for me with her key. I’m so worn out I can barely stand. Mrs. Lawson was nice enough to help me change the bedding before I went to bed. We both tried to ignore the blood stains, but the amount of blood on the sheets didn’t match up to what my mother had said there was. I definitely wasn’t lying in a pool of my own blood.

I knew Mrs. Lawson would lock the door behind her when she left, so I wasn’t one bit worried when she turned off my lights and told me goodnight.

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