Page 155 of One More Kiss

Xo P

I lovedhow he addresses me. It’s so sweet and obvious. He likes me. My stomach seemed to flutter in excitement as I reread the note, but before I could finish the last line, the teacher announced for everyone to sit in their seats and pay attention. The note caused me to think about me and Phoenix rather than the material being taught.

Of course, I knew right away what I wanted to do, but once again my thoughts strayed toward the worse. Why would he want to be seen with me in public? How could he possibly like me? Was it a prank? Did someone dare him to show me this kind of attention? And if I went to the dance, how would the entire event play out? I couldn’t afford a ticket to the fair let alone afford a dress to the most popular dance.

I covered my face with both palms in exasperation. This was a total failure. I wanted so badly to agree to attend the dance with Phoenix, but knew it wasn’t the right move. I couldn’t allow him to be seen with me. He was popular and I was the slum of the school. He would look dashing in a tux. I was completely sure of it, and I would look like a homeless girl who never owned a piece of nice clothes in her life.

No.I had to deny his request. I couldn’t agree to the dance, I felt instantly horrible as I made the most painful decision of my entire life. I wanted Phoenix with a passion. I knew deep down I secretly loved him but couldn’t let him see that. If he did, then he wouldn’t get the hint and leave me alone.

Phoenix had plans and his path was set way before he met me. I couldn’t allow him to deviate from that. He would surely hate me in the long run. I didn’t want to make this decision but had to ignore his note. I told myself it was for the best, but for some reason, I didn’t feel confident about the decision.

Time seemed to fly by as I stewed in silence at the back of the class. This was the first time I wasn’t part of the question-and-answer bit at the end. I usually paid attention to the teacher and answered all of her questions, but this time I wasn’t mentally in the room.

I knew right away lunch was next and I had to ghost Phoenix. I wasn’t sure what his reaction would be, but I hoped he wouldn’t be to upset. He had to see that maybe we just weren’t meant to be, at least at this moment. He had the military and I had to work hard at school so that I could get a scholarship for college. I didn’t have my parents’ money to fall back on, and I sure wasn’t going to join the military. I mean, I wasn’t cut out for that kind of work.

“Time to go. Don’t forget to complete your assignments. They’re due by this Friday,” my teacher announced.

It seemed like no one was listening to a word the teacher was saying as they hurriedly grabbed their items and fled out the door. I was the last one to leave because I knew it was go-time, the moment where I had to ignore Phoenix. You would think I’d be totally on board with the idea considering the consequences, but my stomach was nauseous. This didn’t sit well with me, and I wasn’t entirely sure why.

All throughout lunchtime, I hung around the hallways, strolling from one area to the next. I hoped I wouldn’t be found, but then wished Phoenix would come looking for me. Was he angry? He had to know I stood him up right about now. Gosh, I felt sick to my stomach knowing how horrible this was, I couldn’t seem to change my mind.

After lunch ended, the rest of the day flew by without a trace of Phoenix. It was as if he disappeared from the school. I met up with my siblings and headed to the bus to catch a ride home, but before I could get on the bus, a brown vehicle pulled up in front of me. A horn was honked as if trying to get my attention. I wasn’t the only person staring at the vehicle. So, I walked closure and noticed it was Phoenix.

I stared at him dumb founded. “What are you doing? I have to catch my bus, or it’ll leave without me.”

“Don’t get on. Why don’t you let me give you a ride home?” Phoenix insisted.

He smiled genuinely as if I didn’t stand him up earlier. I wondered if he took me ghosting him to heart, or if he just shrugged it off. But I knew one thing. My parents would be furious for catching a ride with someone they didn’t know, even if I was old enough to make that kind of decision.

“I can’t. My parents wouldn’t be too happy about missing the bus,” I said.

My brother, George interrupted us. “Tori, we have to go. The bus is about to leave.”

His brown eyes looked at me as if he were worried, I would get in Phoenix’s vehicle. I never did this kind of thing before and wasn’t about to start now. I kindly turned Phoenix down and followed George onto the bus. Once again, my heart seemed to split in two. I hated seeing the crestfallen look cross Phoenix’s features but had no choice.

The drive literally took a few minutes before we were dropped at the bus stop. My siblings and I walked the rest of the way home in silence. It seemed school drained each one of us. For me, it was Phoenix and the shifty emotions I experienced all in one day. One minute, love and excitement. The next, disappointment and sadness. When would things get easier? I hated having to turn him down, and me in the process.

We made it to the run-down house we called home, and just as I was climbing the porch, a voice called out, “Hey! Wait up!”

We all seemed to turn toward the sound because we were curious, or at least I knew why I checked. It was Phoenix and his brown vehicle. He parked right in front of my parents’ home and walked up to the porch. I couldn’t seem to move, standing stock-still as he stopped right in front of me.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be home, or don’t you have anything more important to do?” I asked, nervousness evident by the way I wrung my hands together.

“Is this the same guy from outside the school?” George asked, stepping right beside me.

“You don’t know him,” I questioned George.

He shook his head no and continued to look at Phoenix. It’s weird that they were in the same grade but didn’t know one another. I guessed they didn’t circulate in the same groups.

I observed the two boys sizing each other up. I didn’t need either of them fighting or making a statement that would start an argument. I loved my brother, but what he didn’t know was that I loved Phoenix and was willing to get in between the two.

“Yeah. He’s someone I met at the fair. Apparently, we go to the same school together,” I revealed, staring at Phoenix as I talked.

George asked, “Isn’t it weird he followed the bus to our house? I mean, what person does that?”

“Me,” Phoenix said, confidently, “I have unfinished business with Tori. I was hoping she’d give me an answer at lunch but since she didn’t attend, I’m looking for an answer now.”

“You just wait a minute,” George said, stepping up to Phoenix. “She doesn’t have to be pressured into answering anything from you. She probably didn’t show up because you do shit like this. Give the girl some space.”

---