Page 382 of One More Kiss

Silas

Everything I do feels wrong.It’s been over a month of this feeling. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Last week, I made it three days. Three whole days without Delaney. No calling or texting or seeing each other. Then I caved.

I started with a text, only to realize anything I wrote sounded woefully inadequate. And when I called her, Delaney told me she had been holding back too. Also, she mentioned that Liam had texted her. She wasn’t so pleased with me about that. She thought I was trying to push them back together.

But I wasn’t.

I couldn’t.

Right or wrong, I have no self-control when it comes to her, and my intentions are naturally selfish. And in truth, I was furious myself. Liam mentioned nothing to me on Saturday about texting her and why wait so long to do it, considering I initially told him a month ago about seeing Delaney?

It means he’s thinking about her. Still.

Delaney and I agreed we’d meet to talk it all through and talking turned to sex and sex turned to her sneaking over after Knox was already asleep and sneaking out before he woke up.

I hate that.

That sort of sneaking around.

But we both decided it was how it had to be and since neither one of us wants to stop, it’s what we do. It’s a dance we’ve done for over a month. We sneak around. A lot. All over the place and any chance we can get.

Except this last week, I’ve grown itchy. Restless. Tired. Resentful.

For the last week, every time I’ve been with her, or Liam for that matter, I’ve had to forcefully hold my tongue. It doesn’t feel like only five weeks since I first kissed her in the bar and brought her home. It feels like the start of something real and lasting, but how can it be if we don’t give it that chance? We’re setting ourselves up to fail from the start, and I don’t want to fail with Delaney.

I want to succeed.

I want to make her mine.

Which is likely why I’ve been in a shit mood this morning. This week.

Especially when my ex texts to inform me she can’t take Knox this weekend because she has a date. Leaning against the wall just outside one of the trauma rooms, I glare at my screen, and without thinking too much about it, I press on her number, and it rings through.

“I’m busy and can’t talk.”

I ignore that. She’s always too fucking busy. “You’re blowing off your son for a date? Who schedules a date when they’re supposed to be with their child?”

A huff. “I like this one, Silas.”

“So? You like him more than your son?”

Another huff, this one louder and more annoyed than the first. “It’s just not a good weekend. I’ll make it up to him next time.”

“No, you won’t. Because you never do. You never spend any time with him, and I see it in him when he comes home on Saturday or Sunday. He loves you and you hurt him. I have sole custody, which means you see him because I allow it. If you’re not going to try and you’re only going to hurt him by not showing him any love or affection, then stop now. If you want to be his parent, be his fucking parent. If you don’t, then get the fuck out of our lives. There is no middle ground. Not with him.”

“Silas—”

“I mean it, Ann. In twenty years, are you going to look back on his childhood and regret not working more or not being with your son more? I am giving you one more chance. That’s it. If this guy you say you like is the real deal and a good man, he’ll understand. If you don’t show up on Friday and actually spend time with Knox, then I’ll have my answer.”

I disconnect the call, blowing out such a heavy, aggravated breath, I’m shocked steam isn’t flying out of my ears.

“What do you think she’ll do?” a voice comes from my side, and I twist, startled to find Delaney standing here in the back hall of the emergency department.

“I hope she’ll show up. But I’m not sure she will.”

I take Delaney in, my eyes feasting on her. On her tiny dress and sweet curves barely hidden beneath the tight fabric of her dress. Her long, long legs and those Docs. Always those Docs. Her hair is a little wild, a bit messy, her cheeks flushed from the heat outside. She took the T here and it shows, but somehow that only makes her look sexier.

The way she looks after I’ve made her come.

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