Page 497 of One More Kiss

Julian

“And here Iwas half expecting to be wooed at Moonshine’s again.” Olivia raised her sweet tea to her lips and smiled.

With a helping hand from Jordanmore like an annoying, nudging handI made reservations for the first time in my life to a quaint little bistro outside of town. We had already ordered our entrees and our conversation ranged from the making of the library renovations to Olivia wanting to play matchmaker for Jordan. But I wanted to get into a more serious conversation, one I hope I don’t scare her away with.

“Why did you want to take a break?”

She cocks her head slightly to the side.

“From us?” I press.

She twirls her fork around her mash potatoes before placing it down and slowly folding her hands together. “I felt like I betrayed Lucas. Not only for ignoring the signs that he was slipping away but because I was sneaking around with you, his best friend, for months. Regret and sorrow was eating me alive and the last thing I felt I deserved was us being together.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this?” My voice became shredded with sadness.

“Because you would have battled the war inside my head. Because you would have made everything better when I wanted to drown. I made myself believe you deserved someone older and better and maybe it was a sign that we weren’t right for each other.”

“There is nobody in this world better for me than you.”

A ghost of a smile plays on her lips. “I thought so too. But it was wrong that we lied to Lucas. I couldn’t live with that guilt.”

“What if I told you he knew?” Her eyes widen. I have my own guilt of not telling Olivia that Lucas knew about us. How could he not? As much as we played it safe there’s always that one little crack in the wall that someone ends up spotting and peeking through. Lucas caught us shopping at the Mini Mart and if I remember fondly I was pretty handsy with his sister as I was trying to snap off her bra in the parking lot. He naturally wanted to break my hands but he died knowing his sister was in safe hands being with me and as much as wasn’t a solid of fan of us, he was happy we found each other.

“He WHAT?” Olivia shrieks. A few dining heads swiveled in our direction and I politely nod at everyone before calmly telling her the truth.

“Lucas knew before he died that we were together. He seen us out in public, unfortunately getting a little frisky, but he knew. We had a chat about it. He vowed to bust my nose if I ever hurt you. I crossed my heart and prepared to die if I ever did. He was supportive. I wanted to tell you the night he died but everything happened so fast and before I wrapped my head around things, you broke up with me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” she argues, her face scorn.

“Would that have changed anything?”

Her eyes drop to her plate and the tension between us was pure sadness. Sadness for missing out on six year long years because we lacked communication, me giving her space and her feeling unworthy of my unfaltering love for her. Sadness from the massive loss we experienced when Lucas passed on to a better place when ideally there was no better place for him than here. And sadness over the what if’s and the ‘I wish I knew’.

Our server returns to clear our plates and brings out a fudge brownie with a dollop of vanilla ice cream on top and whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles.

“I didn’t forget the dessert this time,” I say cheekily.

A lone tear falls down Olivia’s cheek and my heart sinks into my stomach. “Olivia?” I mouth.

“I’m sorry, Julian. I’m so sorry. I gave you up for six years for nothing. We could have built a life together. Marriage, babies, a dog. But you lied to me too.”

“I did, and I’m sorry baby. I wish I could take it all back. But we are here now. I’ve never stopped loving you and I never will. You don’t ever need to feel unworthy. You are beyond worthy and beautiful and perfect. I’m most definitely the one that needs to feel like I don’t deserve you.”

She laughs.

“I’m serious,” I continued. “I know you were young but you are wiser beyond your years and I knew I wanted nobody else to spend my olden years with than you. I was scared about Lucas finding out. We were brothers. Forever and always was our motto. Whether telling one another that were making it out of the war alive or just having each other’s back through life’s bullshit. I beat myself up for not seeing the signs. I knew your brother like the back of my hand but I didn’t bother to notice how lonely he was. How he got lost in the darkness and the only light he saw was a ticket out of here. But I decided to do better and become a guidance counselor. And yeah, I worry a lot about Jordan but he’s helped me more than I helped him.

We can’t get those years back. It sucks but it’s all about moving forward. Lucas will always be my best friend. My brother. And you will always be the love of my life. I want all those things with you. Marriage, babies, a dog. I want to begin this new start with you. If you will have me, of course.”

Olivia leans over the table and with her hand gently caressing my cheek, she lays her lips on mine and we kiss. “I love you, Julian. Forever and always.”

“Forever and always,” I whisper back to her.

She falls back into her seat and scoops up a bit of whipped cream with her finger. “I really thought you were going to take me back to your place and explore my body using whipped cream. Or was that just pillow talk?” Her tongue darts out and she laps up the whipped cream on her finger.

I fucking lose it as I feel my cock grown thick in my jeans and I call for the check.

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