Page 599 of One More Kiss

I see him here. I feel his hand in mine. But I’m having a real mess of a time convincing myself this is real and that it’s actually happening.

He hasn’t answered my question about why he keeps kissing me and saying my name.

Why? Is it because he doesn’t have an answer? Or because he’s simply pitying me. Giving me one night of joy because he feels sorry for the broken girl who was going to kill herself.

I feel the walls closing in. The darkness within my head threatens to smother the light. My vision starts to blur as the dark thoughts flood into my head.

I shake my head, desperate to beat back the dark thoughts. Asher’s voice penetrates the fog. “Kristee… Hey… I’m right here. Look at me. I’m right here. Stay with me.” His voice has my eyes lifting, locking on his. He smiles slightly though he looks concerned. His hand tightens on mine. “Hey. Look at me. Where did you go? What happened?”

I only stare at him. Imploring him to answer my questions. To reassure me. He understands. “Hey. Where did you go in your head? Tell me. Talk to me.” He says as he pulls me into an alcove, settling on the steps before pulling me down beside him. We stare at each other for a time before he says again, “What happened? Tell me what just went through your head, Kristee.”

Do I? Do I confess?

Why the hell not? He’s asking and he already knows about my condition.

My hands feel cold even though they’re between his. “My head is trying to convince me that you are only here with me because you pity me. That you don’t want to be here and you’re simply giving me one night of reprieve if you will… Because I told you why I was at the river earlier.”

His eyes darken, turning a deep, fathomless blue as he stares into mine. His fingers tighten around mine. His lips twist into a smile, though it’s sad. “That’s utter bullshit. Your demons are fucking with you. I’m here with you, right now, because there’s no where else I want to be.” He sighs and looks past me, over my shoulder, though there’s nothing there but a wall. “You told me that you were going to end your life tonight. And when you said it… I felt like someone had punched me in the goddamned stomach. It literally felt like Thor slammed his hammer into my gut. But I understood it.

“I related to the fact that you felt like ending your life would be the best thing.” He inhales deeply before looking back at me, staring directly into my eyes. “I understood, Kristie, because I feel like that sometimes, too. But as soon as you said it, I knew… I knew that you were supposed to end up in front of me on the levee before the storm tonight.

“Looking at you… I felt alive. I didn’t even know you, but I knew that you weren’t supposed to die. I knew that your light wasn’t supposed to be extinguished. And I knew that mine wasn’t either. I knew that you were there for me to help you… and for you to help me.”

I can’t breathe with all he’s saying. But it doesn’t sound insane. It doesn’t sound delusional. It sounds… right.

I was supposed to meet Asher tonight. Whatever is happening between us is happening because someone, somewhere knew that two broken people needed each other. Together, we’re still broken, but our broken pieces somehow fit together. Together, we’re somehow whole.

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