Page 6 of One More Kiss

Steve

Even in thenoisy kitchen heated past too-warm and scented with all the delicious foods we’d been preparing for the last few hours, Jasmine wouldn’t look at me. The kids’ laughter spilled in from the living room where Jasmine sent them a short time ago. She’d noted Jenna’s fatigue and shooed the pretty blonde out of her large space. It was a bit tired with older countertops and oak cabinets, thick on the grain. But it was charming, too, with its large Mason jars of ingredients and the bright splash of lime green for her coffee pot and stand mixer.

Tension coiled in my belly as I willed her to face me, but she’d turned ignoring me into an art form no one else seemed to notice.

For such a tiny thing, she sure did make her presence known. She was the shortest woman in the group—probably only five-two—and I’d be surprised if she weighed more than a buck, even. Her figure was supple, her arms lightly muscled and tanned, no doubt from the work she did with the horses.

I only knew Jasmine dyed her hair because Aya had mentioned it once, but I liked the rich mahogany Jasmine had chosen. It suited her refined features and inquisitive, insightful eyes.

I’d caught a knowing look from Jenna a time or two, but the poor girl was struggling under the weight of grief to pay me too much mind.

That’s how I liked it.

Not her grief, but me, flying under the radar. I belonged there; I’d be able to help out my family if needed but, otherwise, people left me alone.

Still, in this instance I wanted Jasmine’s full attention. Her pretty eyes were filled with hurt and resilience, something I understood all too well. She’d tripped and fallen once or twice with her family, but she’d managed to pull them all back into her loving embrace…something I still worked on with Nash.

I shook my head as my attention turned back to my son.

My son.

A music phenomenon. Even after all these years, his fame awed me. It also overwhelmed me, and I’d hated that I’d gotten tongue-tied with other performers or felt that my humble origins made me lesser than the rich assholes Nash hobnobbed with.

Because of my insecurities, I’d almost cost my boy his life.

Nash pressed a kiss to Aya’s temple, snuggling her tighter to his side, his hand draped over both her and the small form of their son as he slept against her chest in a strip of cloth I still didn’t trust to keep his tiny body safe. Both Nash and Aya assured me it was, but…fuck. Levi was so small. Defenseless.

Just like Nash had been when he’d lived with his stepfather.

Emotions rose and popped in my chest, each one headier than the last, making me dizzy. I’d left my son with a monster.

Suffocating anger, grief, and regret wrapped around me, and I pushed them down. None of that emotion could escape. I’d seen what it could do; I’d felt how virulent that negativity could be.

I wouldn’t allow that to spill over into this beautiful family, onto these loving people.

One deep breath, two. Slowly, the vise eased and I could move past those feelings. Nash was safe and Aya loved him. They had a baby boy, who I got to help raise.

In our smaller family unit, Aya held us all together, not unlike Jasmine.

My gaze swung back to Jasmine, the woman I desired with a consuming passion that was more irritating at my age of forty-eight than romantic.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she whispered as she passed me, the air carrying the soft floral scent of her perfume.

I turned in a quick move, caging her between the counter and the stove.

“I can’t.” And that pissed me off.

Much as I wanted to lift my hand and caress her cheek, I didn’t. She wouldn’t like that. She didn’t like the idea of dating. She’d told me so back before I took her to bed. The bed I’d left in the middle of the night so the kids didn’t ask either of us hard questions.

I’d made a mistake then, and my tactical error put Jasmine on the defensive. She believed I’d only wanted release.

She had no idea I’d never wanted a casual fling. I yearned for commitment. Love. Contentment. A relationship and a partnership, something I hadn’t known existed until Nash and Aya reunited.

Yeah, my son taught me things every day. I couldn’t wait for the new lessons.

“You have to,” she snapped.

“Why?”