Page 929 of One More Kiss

Couldn’t.

Feel.

“What happened to rage?” Tate’s voice was so unexpected I thought I had imagined it.

I turned my head slowly to look behind me. She was standing there, about ten feet behind me. Where she had even come from, I couldn’t tell you. But she was there.

“You know, pain?” she continued. “Like the song. Get mad, not sad? You don’t believe that?”

I looked back over the edge. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Oh. So, was that fake, too?”

I clenched my fists. “None of it was fake!” I shouted through gritted teeth. “Now go.”

“You shouldn’t be here, either.” Her voice softened. It was going to ruin me.

I heard her take a step closer. I inched closer. “Stay back. Let me go, Tate. I let you go.”

To my surprise, she didn’t argue. “Fine.”

I looked back at her.

“Jump. End it. End you. But I’m not letting you do it alone.”

My eyes went wide. “What?”

She sat down where she stood. “Do what you want, Daniel. But I’m not leaving.”

“Tate…”

“In fact…” She pulled out her phone. “One last Damaged Kids song.”

I shook my head, but she hit play. I knew it right away. It was “Guardian Angel” by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

The foundation of my heart was crumbling. Giving out from the weight of her. I wanted to jump. To get the hell away as my nerves thawed out and the pain overtook me. But I was paralyzed as the song played.

She started singing along with it, and everything inside of me collapsed.

“The thing, Daniel, about standing at the edge of yourself is that you don’t have to jump. You can take a step back. People like us burn for someone to see the deepest, murkiest parts of our souls and accept them despite all the damage. But you know what? I think it’s okay to leave some fathoms untouched. To acknowledge the fact that we are a mess and it’s okay. Even the ugly pieces are still pieces that make us whole.”

I came to my knees, sobbing. “It hurts so bad.”

“I know.” Her voice was so quiet. Like a prayer not meant to be heard. “But pain reminds us we are alive.”

“What if I don’t want to be alive?” I turned so I was facing her. “I was fucked up way before you came along.”

“Same.” Her composure was unreal. But not fake.

This girl, this snarky, cute, blunt girl who had fallen into my life like there was some trap door in the ceiling and it had just suddenly given out, was anything but fake. I loved her and envied her all at the same time.

“But you know what, Daniel?” She inched closer to me but left a couple feet between us. “You’re not the only one who's considered turning off all the lights. I was there, too. After you left me in the club. Not because you broke my heart, even though you did, but because it made me believe I was truly alone. Then I got into a fight with Vee last night, and she almost had me convinced to forget about you, but I couldn’t. You know why?”

I didn't respond. I just stared at her, hugging my knees to my chest.

“Because I could feel you. I sat against the wall, and somehow, I could feel you there with me. And I realized that we are a part of each other, and whether you believe it or not, we are one person now. You go. I go. But I’m asking you, Daniel, to please stay.”

My face twisted in agony to match my heart. I bit my lip to hold back the sob as tears streamed down my cheeks. I was so fucking tired. But I was also desperate.

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