"I know you were awesome," I say. "I'm so proud of you."
I'm not as lucky with David. He won't forget. He won't glaze over this.
"I'm fine," I say, trying to will my heart to slow down and my breathing to regulate. "I'm sorry for that. I don't know what came over me."
David doesn't acknowledge my apology. He just stands there, his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed, studying me intently. He looks like he's trying to see inside my head with his eyes.
"It's okay," he finally says, dropping his arms and looking away. "I'm sorry I didn't catch that you were having a panic attack. I would have been able to help sooner."
I scoff at this. Like there's anything he could have done to make it better. I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to move past that day. It continues to haunt me.
"It's fine," I say. "No one could have helped. It's just... I almost had a pretty bad fall a few years back. Since then, heights kind of freak me out. I just need to learn to be more aware."
His eyes carefully evaluate me and wonder what he sees. "You did good," he says, his voice soft and low. "You took your fear and faced it. Even if you had a minor setback, you still did it. That's more than most people can say. You're so strong."
"I'm not strong," I say, shaking my head as I laugh off his words. "I'm pretty dang broken."
"I don't think you're broken," David says. "You're stronger than you think you are. Don't let your past make you weak."
"But it does," I insist. "It's always there. I can't get away from it. It's always there."
"But it doesn't define you," he argues.
"I'm not sure that's true."
"It is," he promises. "It doesn't define you, Kaylee. You define you. Whatever that looks like."
"How are you so sure?"
"Because I had to learn to define myself. Because if I let my past define me, I'd get stuck in it. The only reason I'm here doing this today is because I took control of my life and made it what I wanted, no matter what my past said it should be." He motions at the woods around us as sunlight breaks through the canopy. "This place, it's almost like you can't deny the beauty of life and nature when you're here. I embraced that with everything I had and learned to see the wonder in the world again."
David's words shock loose memories and I stare at him. The thought crosses my mind that, in all likelihood, this is the man who saved me when I was at my lowest point. David is my angel.