Page 60 of The Revenge Plan

He wriggled his hand out of my grasp. I stumbled at the force and only slightly gained my balance. He glared at me with eyes filled with hate, anger and sadness. When he spoke, his voice was low and cold, “Don’t you ever try to finish that sentence. You don’t want to know what I’ll do to you if you do.”

My vision was hazy with tears. I tried to blink them away, but it only made them fall.

“Get out. I don’t want to see your face.”

36

It was noon the next day when I woke up. I had gone to the old liquor cabinet and raided it. It was filled with drinks I rarely touched. There was an old bottle of whiskey in there. I must have drank most of it. That was what the headache and slight nausea were saying. The bottle lay almost empty on the desk. I had slept on the floor and my back and shoulder ached when I stood up.

Memories of the day before came rushing in. With them, came the pain and anger I had tried to numb with alcohol. I thought of my brother and how young he had died. I should have been there with him. He had called me that night. I had missed it and he hadn’t left a message. I had been too busy obsessing over his friend to even think about him. To this day, I’ve always wondered what he wanted to say. I had ignored him because a week before I had kissed the girl he loved. Hailey’s kiss had made me want more, envision a life with me and her as boyfriend and girlfriend. Hell, I had even wondered what my life would have been like if my twin wasn’t around. The guilt was still inside me to this day. I should have told him what kind of person she truly was. Instead, she killed him.

I staggered out of the study. The entire place felt haunted and hollow. As I went past her bedroom, I noticed something that made me stop. It was empty. There was no sign that she had ever occupied the space. It looked like the guest bedroom it had been before. She had gone.

When I said ‘get out’, I had meant out of the study and not out of the house. Clearly she had chosen the latter interpretation. That was fine. Good, in fact. I no longer had to deal with her. This was good news. There was nothing we could give each other anymore. I certainly wanted nothing to do with her. But then why did I feel so empty? I took out my phone. There were a few messages. One was from Fred:

There’s more to the story if you want me to continue digging. I was going down another path before I got this boon.

He was referring to the tape. I thought about it. If there was more he could find, then I guess there was no harm. Who knew with the Lyndells? There could be an even more sinister story to the whole thing. But I wasn’t sure if I still wanted to keep picking at the scab. It was taking too long to heal. I thought about it for a minute and then sent him a reply.

Keep digging.

My stomach growled. I went downstairs to make myself a cup of coffee and breakfast. I was about to make a meal for two people when I stopped myself. Had she eaten before she went away? She’s gone, you idiot.

Ax was right. I had an unhealthy obsession. I was angry at her; she had left me, but I still wanted to make her breakfast. “Pathetic,” I whispered to myself.

37

Everything came to me in fragments. The memories were hazy. Each night I would wake up from night terrors. At first it made little sense. The initial fragments were of me driving the car. Another was of me turning around to see Liam sleeping in the front seat. Another thing that I never thought would accompany the fragments; the emotions. The shock I felt when I saw him lying lifeless. On the third night, I had another nightmare. This one differed from my previous ones.

I was in a strange room lying on a bed. A boy was over me. His face is hazy, but there’s something about him that’s familiar. He punches me with something that stings. A moment later, I see an injection in his hand. I stumble out of the room and into a hallway filled with people holding Solo cups. The muffled music is now blaring. There’s a party going on. This is where I wake up whenever I have that dream. Somehow, this one is scarier than the others. It doesn’t end in a car crash, but there’s that boy that I can’t picture. It makes me thankful for the train that wakes me up every morning as it passes by my apartment.

It’s only been two months, but I would be lying if I say I hadn’t gotten used to the luxury of waking up to the sound of sizzling and the smell of bacon and eggs. Smoked salmon deviled eggs to be exact. Now I was waking up to the smell of garbage. The window of my new apartment was above the alleyway.

Nice. An apartment fit for the Disgraced Park Avenue Princess. If Dana saw me here, she would have taken a picture for remembrance. It was small, but it was what I could afford now. It was a studio with one sizable space that acted as the living area and the bedroom. There was a tiny space to the side, divided by a rail thin counter that served as the ‘kitchen.’ One could hardly cook a meal there, not that I could.

I checked my phone. Fuck. I overslept. How was I both stressed out and oversleeping? I had to catch the train, and this place was much farther away than my other place. So I got out of bed and stumbled over my suitcases.

I had sold some of my clothes, given away most of them, and still it was a lot. A memory flashed of Bailey silently helping me get my stuff into the town car. I was so glad I had put my things in storage. Some part of me had known that it would not last.

I brushed the thought away. Stop thinking about the past. I rushed over to my tiny bathroom and took a shower in record time. I quickly dressed and grabbed the cranberry muffin I had bought yesterday. It had looked tempting in the bakery window. Now, it made me feel nauseated. Oh, no. I rushed to the bathroom. I hurled out all of yesterday’s pitiful supper. Nice. I went back to the kitchen and took the muffin, intending to throw it away, then thought otherwise and threw it into my purse.

The early morning rush was palpable outside. Everyone was eager to get to wherever they were going except for a raggedy man hanging by the trash can. “Eli,” I called out to him. I reached into my purse and gave him the muffin, “here.”

“This one didn’t do it for you as well?”

“Unfortunately,” I said, walking away.

“Maybe you should swear off all berry muffins!” he called out, “Better yet, send them all my way.”

I was still a little miffed that I could not only stand blueberry muffins, but cranberry muffins too. I had given him the previous two I had bought, and he had suggested I buy a different flavor. Turns out my body didn’t like that one too.

The meeting was about to start when we arrived. I followed Alicia to the boardroom. Rachel was already there, looking jumpy and excited. “What’s this about you think?” Alicia asked.

“Exciting new business? A new donor?” I shrugged.

The meeting carried on as usual with the usual topics being discussed that I was pretty sure the progress of we didn’t need to get an update on every Thursday. At the end of the meeting Rachel got up and trilled, “I have good news for you all. Our fund-raising gala is getting a big name.” I felt like melting in the chair. I knew what was coming, “That’s right, folks. The man himself Caiden Scott will attend the gala as the guest of honor. Is that wonderful?” Excited murmurings broke out. We had been trying to get big names to come to the fundraiser, and it had been difficult to do so. Now that there was a big name, others might come too. That meant we could get big pockets. This was good news. Good news for everyone except me. Caiden was the last person I wanted to see right now.

“We must give thanks to Hailey for this, of course,” I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard my name. Everyone clapped for me. I had done nothing. Rachel had approached me and I had told her it was unlikely he would come, but I would try talking to him. Later I told her it wasn’t set in stone that he would make it. I hadn’t spoken to him. I had made it up. I felt guilty for not saying anything and taking what I was sure was someone else’s hard work. They didn’t know about our separation and I took the congratulations like a coward.

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