Page 78 of The Revenge Plan

She lifted her hands in exasperation. “What are you talking about?”

“I—” I couldn’t find the right words. Were there any? I want to start over? Start where? We had a fractured relationship our entire lives. It was broken from the day I first laid eyes on her, and I later heard my brother telling me he had a crush on her. So I thought of the next best thing.

“I thought we should renegotiate our terms of our arrangement.” Yes. That would be a good start. I would have to ease her back to me. Woo her, as they say. First, I had to get her out of this apartment and back into mine. Ours. It was ours. Second, get on her good side by showing what a good husband and a good father I could be. Third, I would woo her again. Lots and lots of wooing until she was back by my side and in my bed. I can’t lie to myself. As much as I enjoyed her company, I had missed her incredible lovemaking. Our sessions were on replay all day and night, like a dirty porn tape that couldn’t be paused.

“You’re right.”

Good. This was going better than I thought.

“We should get divorced.”

49

Divorce?

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know, Caiden? Maybe the fact that you’ve already won, destroyed my family, got our business and don’t need me anymore?”

But I did need her. I needed her badly. “I thought we were having a child together.”

“Lots of people have children apart. Isn’t that why I’m here instead of your apartment?”

She was right, and I had no way of explaining myself without sounding like a rube. I couldn’t say she could come back now that I no longer thought she was my brother’s murderer. That was the reason I had kicked her out in the first place.

“What if I don’t want a divorce?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

I tried to think of every reason she couldn’t reject and the best I could come up with was, “What about the baby? Don’t you think we should try raising him or her together?”

She leaned forward and pushed the plate of food away from her, “I told you Caiden. I won’t run away. I’m pretty sure you’d find me if I did, anyway.”

“It’s not about—fuck! Don’t you get it! I want us to get back together!”

She laughed. She laughed really hard. “Why would you want that? I thought you only barely tolerated me.”

The phrase sounded familiar. Like something I would say, but I don’t remember saying it to her. She clarified when she saw my confusion, “I heard you talking to Axel. I’m a warm body to fuck sometimes, is another way you put it.”

I winced. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No. No. It’s fine. I went into this relationship knowing what I would get. You don’t have to apologize. You were only stating facts.” Her voice broke at that last sentence.

“You’re more than a warm body to me.”

“Sure.” She shrugged as if to say she didn’t believe me. If I were her, I wouldn’t believe me either.

“There’s no reason to get divorced when we are already living apart. Don’t you think we can try living like this. If it doesn’t work out, then we can split.”

“To what end? Don’t you want to get it over with?” her eyes widened, “Or do you want to torment me further?”

“What! No! It’s not like that at all.” I went for her hand. She drew it away as my hand reached for hers. I drew back. “I want us to be more than warm bodies to each other.” I tried to think for a reason that wouldn’t make her recoil and stopped myself. I shouldn’t be thinking of trying to pin her down. She would resist even more. The truth. It had to be the truth. “I know you won’t believe what I’m about to say, but I’ll say it, anyway.” I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Sorry for everything I did to you. I realize now that I was a terrible person and a jerk for putting you through what I put you through. For being a wedge between you and your family and accusing you for things that you didn’t do. Not considering your feelings. Using your feelings. I’m sorry.”

She stared back at me and offered no reaction. She wasn’t kicking me out though. Nor was she screaming insults back at me. It had to be a good sign. “I was so focused on revenge and getting back at the person I hated and fulfilling someone else’s grudge, I never thought of the damage I was causing. And if I did, I wanted to hurt you.”

“Why?”

“Because you hurt me. Or at least I thought you hurt me. I never thought that you would be innocent, and I never saw you as such, I’m sorry. I’m ready to do whatever it takes for you to forgive me.”

---