Page 132 of These Monstrous Deeds

But he was fine earlier. Benny said when they got here that Carter wasfine. Even after getting his wounds dressed, all that was wrong was the boy being emotional.What changed?

A few sharp knocks on the door yank Nathan out of his panicked shame spiral. He yells for Benny to come in. His loud voice causes Carter to jump beside him, getting startled out of the foggy half-sleep he had begun to settle in.

“Shhh, sweetheart. You’re okay.” Nathan holds him tighter. “Just be a good boy for sir, okay? Be my good boy.”

“Yes, sir,” Carter whispers, sniffling. When the doc and Benny walk into the room, Carter cowers a little, pressing against Nathan as hard as he can. He’s terrified, yet he trusts Nathan. Even though Nathan is the one that keeps fucking hurting him, he trusts him. Nathan doesn’t know what to do with that. He doesn’tdeserveit.

The doc nods at Nathan in greeting before squatting down in front of Carter and giving him a comforting smile. “Hello, slave. How about we figure out what’s going on, hmmm? Make you feel better?”

Carter ducks his head against Nathan’s chest like a toddler hiding behind a parent, but he nods.

“Can you come a little forward for me, slave? Just a bit?”

Not saying anything, Carter hunches his shoulders and scoots forward a few inches. When the doctor reaches for him and announces he’s going to take Carter’s temperature, Carter flinches, but he doesn’t pull away or argue. He just stays quiet as silent tears trail down his cheeks. He doesn’t stop trembling the entire exam, even after his tears have dried up and his eyes have fallen closed.

Just as the doc finishes up, turning to Nathan to say something, Carter doubles over and chokes out bloody bile into the toilet. Once he starts, he can’t stop. He goes and goes, mostly just dry heaving, the only stuff coming up watery and red.

The doc frowns, looking very concerned.

Nathan snaps. “What?”

“I’d like to draw blood. Run a few tests. If that’s alright?”

Nathan says, “Absolutely,” at the same time Carter whimpers out, “I hate needles.”

The doctor looks at Nathan; It’s clearly his call. Nathan shakes his head. “Do whatever you need to. I’ll hold him down if that’s what it takes.”

He doesn’t have to look at Carter to know the boy is staring at him in betrayal. He can feel the look hot against his skin.

This was the worst decision of his life.Why the fuck is Nathan here? Why did Travis ever sign up for this shit?

He should have become an astronaut like he planned when he was 7. The foster home had a space-themed bedroom with a spaceship toy, a cheap telescope, and a stuffed moon he loved to cuddle. He was determined to be an astronaut when he grew up.

Astronauts don’t have to deal with this awful tangle of morals and emotions. Astronauts don’t have to hold people down for needles. Astronauts don’t have to rape the boy they love.

7-year-old Travis had the right idea.

Adult Travis was a fucking idiot.

Once Carter’s blood has been drawn, the doc asks Nathan to bring him to the bed. The poor boy begins trembling all over again, his pretty eyes wide open in fear. It isn’t until he whispers, “Please… it – it already hurt’so bad,” that Nathan realizes it’s not normal anxiety Carter is fighting. He thinks they’re going to rape him now.

Or punish him for being sick.

Or both.

Nathan’s chest caves in until he can barely breathe. He looks up at the doc, who is staring at him like he’s just waiting for Nathan to give him permission to -to what?Would the doc actually rape Carter right now? Would he stand by and let Nathan rape him?The boy is clearly fucking sick and hurting.Has Nathan really found himself in that dark of a world that even the doctors don’t see the slaves as human?Nathan doesn’t want to find out.

“No one is going to hurt you, sw-” Nathan pauses, stumbling over himself. Thankfully, he catches the slip before it gives him away. “-slave. You just need some rest, right doc?”

“Right.” The doc looks over at Nathan with a frown, though. “I’d like to give him a bag of IV fluids while I run the tests on his blood.”

“Of course. Whatever you think he needs.”

Carter still looks terrified, the boy sunk in on himself in the center of the large mattress. It’s heartbreaking to watch him try and keep his eyes on all the men in the room, needing to track where the threats are. He can’t see the doc and Benny at the same time because they’re on opposite sides of the room. It’s obvious the boy feels trapped.

Nathan decides to help him out by decreasing the number of threats.

“Benny?”

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