Page 137 of These Monstrous Deeds

Chapter Twenty-two

Carter is pretty in and out for a while. He’s not sure how much time passes, or what really happens to him during any of it. All he has are hazy, fragmented moments that may not even be real:

Waking up to sir frowning down at him with a thermometer in his hand, saying something about a fever. The sticky taste of medicine on his tongue. Cool water running down his throat as sir urges him to drink.

Sir’s deep voice coaxing him from sleep as he reads familiar words about three mischievous friends at a wizarding school, the soft sound of pages turning lulling Carter back to sleep far too soon.

Waking up all alone, sir nowhere to be found. He tries his best to stay awake long enough for sir to come back, but Carter doesn’t last.

Stirring awake to find the room dark, lit only by a muted TV. Sir is sleeping peacefully beside him, one arm bent and tucked behind his head, his large, bare chest rising and falling steadily, his dirty blonde hair a disaster, his lips slightly parted. He looks beautiful, breathtakingly so, and Carter manages to stay awake longer than usual so he can soak it in.

Then Carter wakes up feeling better. Steadier. More human. His muscles aren’t aching and his skin isn’t on fire anymore. Soft fingers are carding through his hair, a warm body pressed up against his side. Once he’s blinked a few times to clear his vision, Carter looks up to find sir lying beside him, propped up on one elbow. Sir’s smile is brilliant when their eyes meet. “Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

“Mmm.” Carter shifts, trying to assess his body. He’s thirsty and still pretty tired, but other than that, he feels relatively good, all things considered. “Better, sir.”

“Good.” Sir runs a fingertip across his forehead, then down to bop the tip of his nose. It makes Carter laugh under his breath. Sir’s smile widens. “Your fever broke a few hours ago, and you haven’t thrown up all day. Hopefully you’re close to the end.”

Carter looks away from sir’s face and focuses instead on his bare chest, his fingers pressed against a tattooed bird in flight as guilt threatens to swallow him whole.How long has he been out? How long has sir had to deal with him?“I feel well enough to make you feel good, sir.”

Sir’s throat clicks as he swallows hard. “What?”

“I mean, you don’t have to worry about when this will end. You can use me still. I promise I won’t… I won’t throw up on you or anything.”

“I’ll use you when I deem fit. You’re not well enough yet, and you’re not going to argue with me about it. Your job is to get better. That’s all you should be worrying about. Okay, sweetheart?”

Carter frowns. “Okay, sir…”

“Do you think you’re well enough for a bath?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Perfect.” Sir plants a kiss on Carter’s forehead, making Carter blush. “You stay. I’ll be back.”

“But-”

Sir stops him with a pointed finger, his eyebrows pulled in and his gaze narrowed playfully. “No, you stay. Rest. Look cute. I’ll be right back.”

“Yes, sir. Staying. Resting. Looking cute.”

“Good boy.”

Carter tries to hold back a smile, but he fails. He just loves this version of sir so much. The version who cares. The version that’s almost…human.

The smile slips away when he realizes how dangerous it is for him to enjoy this version of the monster. This version isn’t real. It’s only a matter of time before Carter gets hurt again.

Sir isn’t human.

Neither is Carter.

It’s best he remembers that.

Except… it’s sohardwhen the man is walking around with a mischievous smile, coming in and out of the suite to bring snacks and juice and something in a small bottle that Carter can’t make out before it’s being placed too far away for him to see.

It’s sohardwhen the man is taking Carter’s hands and helping him to his feet, wrapping an arm around his waist, pressing himself against Carter’s front, his lips skimming Carter’s forehead as he murmurs, “Good boy.”

It’s sohardwhen sir scoops him up to carry him bridal style to the bathroom, the man chuckling fondly when Carter squeaks in surprise.

It’s not real,Carter reminds himself.You can enjoy it - you might as well squeeze out everything you can while he’s being nice - but don’t ever forget that it’s not real, Carter.

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