Page 39 of Dying in Flames (Reborn 4)
Maya
We were in trouble again.
I was starting to have a strong dislike for the news as a whole. It didn’t help that I was watching picture after picture of my mates and me being continuously blasted across the screen of the television in the jet.
Why did they keep changing photos? Why were they keeping them up for such a long time? Were people really that forgetful? I felt like showing it once would have been enough.
Also, how was it that I was managing to apparentlyflee the country, be kidnapped, and was now running from the law—all at the same time? How much sense did that make?! I could feel a tension headache mounting, and not for the first time I wondered why humans did the things they did. I mean, obviously I wasn’t much better—I did weird things that didn’t make sense at times, but this just seemed unnecessary…
The worst part is that we had told the FBI what had happened with Malcolm, and they had claimed they completely believed us, but now were furious we were leaving the country. Why the heck were we in trouble for not wanting to be in a place that reminded us of so many issues right now? What did they need us there for that couldn’t be handled over the phone?
Honestly, I sort of just wanted to bury my head and forget about all of this. After last night, I shouldn’t be all that surprised that I felt off… I mean, what happened hadn’t been normal, and I was feeling the effects of it, a weird state of numbness seeming to saturate everything. My emotions were everywhere, and Bella’s purring was helping my anxiety to only a small extent as the horizon lit up, our long flight across the ocean making me more than a bit confused on what time it was.
I was starting to think it was better to not think about time at all. Nonsense was very confusing.
My phone buzzed, causing Bella to wake up from her cat nap on my lap and make her way towards Croy. I could tell she knew something was wrong, and not for the first time did I wish I could talk to her to explain that everything was okay and that I was just going through something. I didn’t want her freaked out or scared.
In fact, I was trying to avoid anyone reacting intensely to what happened to me. Although, I knew that was virtually impossible considering the situation. At least when it was just the group of us like this, I knew I could give into my emotions a bit more. If the younger flight were here, I would have tried to put on a braver face. They’d stayed back to get settled in with Alpha Creed’s pack, and I was happy that they would get the experience of living with other shifter kids. I just hoped they knew they still had us.
Looking down at my phone, I was unsurprised to find that it held a message from Jordan. She had been messaging me back and forth all day about how I felt, and while she didn’t say it, I knew she was concerned about how my actions were making me feel. I mean, I’d killed a man. He was a monster, but I had still killed him, and instead of feeling guilty, I just felt relief… Which made me feel guilty about feeling no guilt.
Taking a sip of my coffee, the sweet taste of sugar had my entire body warming. I was currently wrapped up in an oversized sweater, and yet my limbs felt chilled, my legs stretched out beneath a blanket as I stared out the window, resting my head against Atlas’s strong chest behind me. The plane was silent except for the sound of the news, which was turned down enough that I didn’t have to hear any more of what they were saying. Honestly, I was half tempted to grab a pair of headphones and listen to music, just to truly block everything out.
I didn’t want to do that to my mates though. I knew they were on edge and concerned about me. To my left sat Anani, his hand on my thigh and drawing patterns with his thumb under the blanket, while I leaned into Atlas. I wouldn’t lie—I felt distant from my mates for the first time since knowing them. I felt like there was this void between us, and it wasn’t one I knew how to close. It wasn’t like I was keeping anything from them…I just felt like I’d floated away. Still within reach, but unable to anchor or tether myself to their strength.
It didn’t help that Ledger wouldn’t look me in the eye.
A not-so-small part of me felt vulnerable, questioning why he was refusing to even meet my gaze. He had said he loved me, and now he wouldn’t even spare me a glance. I could deal with my mates reacting in extreme ways about what had happened, but nothing at all? It made me assume the worst, assume that it had something to do with Lorn touching me.
Ledger wasn’t like that though. I refused to believe that.
My other mates’ reactions were a bit more understandable, consisting of emotions that I would feel if they were ever put in danger as I’d been. Marco and Henry’s reactions were the most extreme, both of them filled with a level of aggression and dominance I had rarely experienced before, and while they were interacting with me…neither had touched me. Not like they usually did. Instead, they were treating me like glass, and it was making me feel on edge and uncomfortable.
I had killed someone… I wasn’t breakable.
Feeling suddenly overwhelmed, I stood up and broke towards the bedroom with some muttered excuse, leaving Bella with them. Croy called after me as Sai reached out to me in passing, but I easily avoided them. Once I reached the bedroom, I closed the door and crawled into bed, the soft sheets instantly cradling my body as I buried myself against the cool pillows. I was exhausted, and I knew part of it had to do with what my magic had been through yesterday.
Only part of it though.
I wasn’t positive how long I laid there, but when the door opened, I felt Marco’s energy surrounding me and waited for him to join me on the bed. When he didn’t, I turned my head to find him leaning against the wall, staring at me as if he could read every inch of my heart, mind, and soul. Honestly, it wasn’t far from the truth.
“What?” I whispered.
“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted, vulnerability flashing in his gaze.
“About what?”
“I can’t take any action in retaliation for what happened to you. He’s dead—he’s already fucking dead. I am terrified of making this worse, and I am not even positive you want any of us to touch you, but I can’t let you out of my sight without having a goddamn panic attack.”
The word vomit did a lot to calm my own insecurities about why he’d been acting so odd.
“I want you to touch me like normal,” I murmured softly. “It’s making me feel worse that all of you are acting weird around me. It’s making me feel like there is something wrong with me.”
“Baby girl.” Marco’s eyes widened as tears filled my gaze. He scooped me up in his arms in a second flat, my entire body deflating against his as I drew in a ragged breath. I let out the tears I’d been holding in as I buried myself against his hard, warm chest, trusting him to fix this.
“I’m fine,” I promised weakly after a minute. “I’m fine. I’m just tired. Just tired, and I really need to be somewhere that doesn’t remind me of everything that’s happened.”
“We are going somewhere better,” he vowed softly. Marco’s words had my eyes falling shut as I gave into the comfort of knowing he would handle everything. He would make this better. My mates always made things better.
