Page 43 of Steal Me (Rebel Hearts Heists 1)
Chapter 16
Cabin Fever
Sloane
“You were planning to ask me out?” I know Kaden wants and deserves answers but I can’t help but blush under his dark blue gaze.
“Yeah. I wanted to ask you out for the longest time. I was just waiting until the ‘jobs’ were done. That day at your bank, it was supposed to be the last one.”
I don’t even ask him why he wanted to wait, I understand his reasons. Bonnie and Clyde sound romantic on paper but we all know how they ended. We all know how this may end. And my feelings for Kaden somehow grow, knowing that he wanted to do right by me and I feel a warmth spread in my chest when I realize that all the looks he gave me in class weren’t just the result of my overactive imagination.
But Kaden is still waiting for an answer, so I do my best to tell him what happened with River without betraying his confidence. “I never exactly told River. He worked it out by himself. And Kaden? There’s a lot more to River than he lets out. He has his reasons for doing what he’s doing with you guys. It’s not my story to tell but there’s a great guy under the layers of tattooed, crazy asshole. He’s sensitive and I … just look out for him, please?” I can’t help it, I feel ridiculously protective over River when it comes to how other people feel about him and it’s odd because I have no idea where it comes from. Well, I do but I’m positive I wasn’t ready for the feelings associated with that.
Kaden looks at me as if he can’t decide how to take what I just said about River. His perfect features are schooled into a neutral expression but I know he’s deep in thought. His blue eyes are scanning me as if he could crack some kind of code if he looks at me long enough. His golden blond hair looks darker under today’s cloudy sky.
His voice is low, almost a whisper when he speaks next, reaching for my hand.
“Right. Maybe you got to know a different side to River. All I know is that his reckless behavior has put us all in danger more than once. But while I can deal with it when the consequences fall just on me, I can’t tolerate it when it puts you in danger.”
I know immediately that he’s talking about the unprotected sex and he’s right on all counts but he should be mad at me more than River. Especially because after what happened, I didn’t stop what went down between Royce and I. And I can’t even say that I wasn’t thinking because of being on the run. I can only rationalize it by saying that each of these men make me feel safe. I don’t know why and to be honest, right now I don’t even care. Still. It doesn’t matter that for the first time in my life I feel cherished. Even by River. Because something changed between me and him in those woods, when Pierce caught up with us.
I know Kaden is right though. What we’ve been doing is reckless and for more reasons than one. Not because they’re criminals, for some reason, I suspect that there’s more to why each of them found themselves robbing banks. I’m not saying that what they’re doing is right, I’m saying that I think that … no, I know it in my heart that they’re all good guys. I understand it better than anyone that sometimes good people do bad things. I attacked Pierce and I would’ve killed him. If I had a sick niece like River, I’d steal for her.
No, the reason it’s reckless is because I’m not putting myself first. I have always been someone that puts others before me. Now, let’s not be mistaken, sex with River and Royce? Unprotected or protected? Was very, very much for me. I nearly shiver thinking about it. But I deserve to treat myself better. I love the idea of having a kid with someone I love but being pregnant and on the run? When I wouldn’t know who the father is or where we stand? That wouldn’t be healthy for me or my child.
My brain flashes to a reality where one day we aren’t on the run and I know exactly where I stand with the father … or fathers. I shake it off. I’m in dream land and nothing good ever comes of that. I don’t say any of this to Kaden but I nod, my hand still encased in his. Is it weird that him being so responsible is also a turn on? Maybe it isn’t what they’re doing, maybe it’s just them. It’s totally them.
“You’re right: I need to find a morning after pill, sooner rather than later because a pregnancy right now would put us all in danger. Not only because we’re running from the cops, but because until I know that I’m safe from Pierce forever, I can’t have another person he could hurt because of me. It’s one of the reasons that I’ve been keeping a distance … why I can’t choose or even let myself feel any of that, feel like I’m falling for anyone.”
His eyes darken with an indecipherable emotion. “Are you telling me that you’re falling for River?”
I hold his gaze, I know the guys might not like the way I feel but I’m not sorry for my feelings. I’ll never be sorry for my feelings again. “No. I’m telling you that while I might fall for River, I might fall for Royce and Blaine and for you, Kaden. Don’t ask me why, I know it’s fucked up on every level, but I like you all. And I can’t witness another fight like yesterdays. I can’t choose among you and seeing the circumstances we’re in, maybe I should stay away from all of you. River was right on all counts: the minute you took me, you got identified, now Pierce is after you. I’m a liability and Pierce won’t stop until he destroys me and everything and everyone I care about.”
Kaden cups my face with both hands and I’ve never seen a purer blue than the color of his irises, but his words are what move me. “I’m afraid that staying away isn’t just your choice, Sloane. Why do you think we didn’t all go our separate ways? We could’ve left you near a police station or anywhere you wanted. We could’ve given you money and a car. We’re all still here because of you. The hostage situation ended the minute we got away from the bank. If anything, Sloane, you’re holding us all hostage. Because we all want you. And yes, we all have reasons why we did what we did, why we broke the law but robbing banks together, playing football together, didn’t even make us friends. You on the other hand? You’re making us see the good in one another, you’re giving us a common purpose that goes beyond not getting caught by the cops. We all want to see you safe and we all want to be the ones to keep you safe. Baby, you can’t decide to turn it all off. You can tell us not to touch you but you can’t tell us not to care and not to pursue you. You don’t have to choose right now, maybe who knows, you won’t have to choose for a long time. But I choose you, Sloane. And I’ll choose you every single time.”
My eyes water because, holy shit, I have never had someone say something like that to me … choose me. And then his lips crush mine and his tongue parts my mouth gently but with unstoppable determination. This is the first time we’ve kissed since that first night, it’s the first time we own up to the attraction between us, openly and without any possibility to take it back. And God help me but I want Kaden with all my heart.
I bite on his bottom lip, running my hands over his perfect, chiseled front, covered by skin tight running clothes.
When I lift the edge of his t-shirt and I feel the smoothness of the skin that encases the hardness of his muscles, my body reacts with a violent rush of desire. My nipples strain painfully against my tank top and I know I’m wetter than the whole fucking lake.
???
Kaden
She lifts my t-shirt off of me, running her hands up and down my chest and I’m instantly hard for her. I want Sloane so badly even though a part of me feels guilty about not having been completely honest with her when it comes to my involvement in the robberies. But I’ll tell her, I’ll tell her as soon as we’re safe in Seattle.
I close my hand around one of her firm tits, massaging her soft flesh and asking myself how this gorgeous, amazing woman has ended up in my arms.
“Sloane, baby …” I pant as she strokes me through my running shorts, making it hard to think.
“I bought condoms, we need to be safe.” She gives me a sassy look, arching her perfect eyebrows and teasing me.
“Oh, someone felt very confident about his prospects …”
Fuck. I don’t want to explain that I got the condoms for her, to use with whoever she wants to, even River. I have no time to explain because I want her too much and I feel ashamed for just a moment at the thought that jolted through my brain, coming from a part of me that should stay the fuck buried. That if she has to take a morning after pill as it is, we might as well go without. This is the selfish part of me talking, the primal, jealous part of me that knows that River and possibly the brothers had her without any barriers between them. Why should I be the only responsible adult here?
But when I look into her eyes and I see the trust in them, the same trust I saw on that first night, when she slept in my arms, I know that I’ll do right by her. I think I only convince my dick by telling myself that I’m not going to let her go. That one day when this insanity isn’t happening, it really can be without barriers between us.
