Page 30 of Unplugged

11

CERYS

Liam isn’tthe only one who was away from St Davids long enough to be on the edge. I’ve spent nights out with Lou a couple of times since I came back but nobody else joined us. Tonight we’re at the local pub with a number of school friends. Nights out are a rare and strange occurrence for me in the last few years, and I’m apprehensive at meeting all these people from my past whose lives are very different to my own.

Tatty gold and silver Christmas garlands adorn the wooden beams of the old style pub. A small fake Christmas tree hung with a meagre amount of blue baubles stands in the old stone fireplace. The friends we’re meeting sit on stools crammed around a couple of small, dark wood tables, and they wave us over as we walk in.

I have nothing to worry about because Liam attracts more attention from our old school friends than I do, his presence eclipsing most of the occupants of the pub. These are your average group of twenty-somethings on a night out, high street fashion clothes picked by girls to impress each other as much as the guys. They huddle together over phones, discussing people and events that I have nothing to do with.

I watch Liam at the bar—he could be an ordinary guy out for a drink with friends, but something in his presence sets him apart. He’s more confident than the teenager with false bravado that I once knew. A couple of the other guys with us are dressed in a similar way although none has hair as long as his. Liam’s the only one with a job that allows this choice.Job. How much of his life is a job and how much of Liam is Blue Phoenix?

Liam arrives back from the bar with a tray of drinks and sets down my vodka and tonic in front of me.

“Aren’t you worried someone will notice you?” I ask, taking a sip.

He shrugs off his leather jacket and shoves it under the table. “In St Davids? Unless I’ve done something controversial, the paparazzi will stay away. To everyone else here, I’m old news.” His panic over our appearance in public the other day remains unmentioned.

I’m distracted by his proximity, as the warmth and scent of him intensifies the dizzy memory from when he held and kissed me. I stare at his mouth. Liam notices and another look passes between us, the kind holding the promise of a kiss. Does he remember the last time we came here all those years ago?

Louise begins the evening positioned between us, steering conversations toward his Blue Phoenix life. Liam gives short answers. Following her reaction in the kitchen the other day, I suspect Louise is reminding me what a mistake he would be. Liam, as her big brother, makes his displeasure clear with a couple of snide comments and eventually Lou huffs and moves to sit with her boyfriend Connor.

“Little sisters...” he mutters and drinks.

I don’t have any brothers or sisters so I can’t sympathise. “I’m sure you miss her when you’re away.”

“Yeah, sometimes. I’d love the chance to visit home more. I wish I could hang around longer than a week.”

Home. St Davids isn’t his home any more than it is mine now. “You’re not looking forward to touring again after Christmas?”

Liam screws his face up then places his hand on the table next to mine, the edge of our little fingers touch but not enough for anyone to notice the intimacy of his gesture. “Can we not talk about that world? I’m here for my ordinary Welsh Christmas.”

“Okay. Sorry.”

I pick my glass up and take a long drink. We lapse into silence and my glass empties due to nervous drinking.

“Hey, Liam, where’s your hot girlfriend?” calls Lee from across the table.

Instantly, I drag my hand away and scrunch my fingers around my jumper. Liam says in a neutral tone, “La-la land.”

“What?” asks Lee.

“LA, stupid,” says Louise and pushes Lee. “Though I reckon she’s in la-la land, too.”

“Don’t you like her, Louise?” Liam says icily. “Why don’t you just say?”

“I told you I don’t.” Louise’s face is flushed and she’d already had a couple of glasses of wine before we left. Alcohol and sibling squabbles.Great.“I don’t trust her.”

Liam drains his glass. “Anyone want another?”

“Cerys said you’d broken off the engagement,” continues Louise. “Is that true? Or were you only saying that to get into her knickers?”

Liam’s hand tightens around his empty glass. “Did you?” he asks me in a low voice.

“I didn’t realise she’d tell anybody. Sorry.”

“Great,” he mutters. “Now the whole world will know.”

But most friends are chatting with only Louise and Lee paying attention to the conversation. “Sorry,” I repeat.

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