Page 40 of Unplugged

Louise holds a palm out to me. “Cerys. Shush.”

Then I see her—Ella in the doorway next to Louise clutching her blanket rag. Her eyes break my heart, filled with the expression I’ve seen every day since we got here. Almost every day. On the days Liam paid her attention, a smiling child replaced the pale, lost one. But the tears aren’t far, for me and her.

She steps into the room and says in a small voice. “I want to go with Daddy.”

I am a hair’s breadth away from smacking Craig’s smug look across his face. Louise’s furious expression meets mine and she tips her head, indicating I should talk to her. “Wait there,” I say to Craig.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he replies and lifts Ella onto his lap.

How? How can Ella forgive and forget so easily and snuggle up to him? Fighting frustrated tears, I walk into the hallway to Lou.

“Why did you let him in?” I say quietly.

“You’re not seriously going to leave with him?” she whispers back.

The weight of the last two weeks falls on me, dragging me down. Craig is right. What choice do I have? Stay here and impose on Linda and Jim’s kindness, and stop Ella spending Christmas with her Dad? Or go with him, give Ella her Christmas, and take things from there?

“For Christmas, Lou. Then I’ll decide what to do.”

“Cerys! You’re a fucking idiot. Don’t do this! You can’t go back to a man who treated you like shit.”

“You don’t understand; he’s done me a favour.”

In the midst of all the crap, there’s a glimmer of something else. I could cope if I needed to. Inadvertently, Craig put me in a position to see other possibilities. Another man showed me I’m strong, told me I’m amazing, and kissed me in a way that proved he truly believed his words. Liam showed me I’m worth more than a life with Craig. I’m not stupid, I know I could never have a relationship with Liam Oliver, but I do know I can find myself, and then find someone worth my time and love.

The problem is I want this man to be Liam because over the last few days he’s imprinted himself on my heart and soul.

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