Page 54 of Unplugged

“Fine, thank you. You?” I place the last plate in the bag and look around.

“Better than a few weeks ago.” Liam rests against the Formica counter and stretches his long legs halfway across the room.

“I heard about that.” I want to elaborate on ‘that’ and mention his failed wedding day but the wary look on his face edges the questions away. “Been in Wales long?”

“Just today. I’m staying in London,” he replies.

“Oh, okay, are you going for a home visit?”

He picks up a paper cup and puts it into the bag I’m holding. “I wanted to see the girl who needs to know I haven’t forgotten her.”

“Ella is definitely happy you came.”

Liam doesn’t respond, but his intense look tells me that’s not what he means. “Sorry I took so long to reply to Ella’s letter. Her picture got lost in the Blue Phoenix fan mail.”

“She’d forgotten about you.”

“Really? She seemed to recognise me when I arrived today.” Again, the undertone of our conversation hangs in the air.

“I don’t think you’re forgettable to a five year old, Liam. Not many men look like you.”

He grins. “Yeah, always with the hair.”

“I couldn’t imagine Liam Oliver without his signature locks,” I say and smile.

“How are you really?” he asks.

“Single mum of a five year old with no life. You?”

“Bass player for Blue Phoenix and occasional pirate.”

This space is too small, the awareness of Liam’s presence too big. “Why are you really here?”

“I said I’d come.”

“That makes no sense. Why would someone like you come to a five-year-old’s birthday party?”

“I told you. I promised.” He pauses and rubs his cheek. “And I wanted to see you again.”

I can’t.I grab some cups and place them in the sink, ignoring the breath knocked from me.Hecan’t.

“Cerys?”

“Very sweet of you to come to Ella’s party, thank you.” My hair sweeps across my cheek and I push it behind an ear.No, no, no. He can’t say more. “Do you want a drink?” I ask, turning back. “Or do you need to leave?”

“You want me to leave?” he asks, eyes filled with hurt.

“I don’t want you upsetting Ella. She’ll think this is like Christmas again and you’ll be around for a while. I don’t want her hurt when you leave again.”

Liam pulls himself forward and moves to the very edge of my personal space. I don’t need him to say the next words because they echo mine.

“I wish thiswaslike Christmas again. I wish you hadn’t left. If I’d known...” He rubs a hand across the top of his head.

“Known what?”

“If I’d known you and Ella’s dad didn’t stay together after Christmas, I’d never continue my own misguided relationship with Honey.”

I close my eyes and swallow the rising lump in my throat. “Liam, Christmas was just...a thing.”

---