Page 79 of Broken Ties (Rixon High 4)

“What? I’m interested, that’s all. It’s not like I have anything exciting happening in my life. I need to live vicariously through you.” She nudged my shoulder.

“I’ll say it again… bro-ther.”

“You do know how the birds and bees work, right? So when you two finally figure out your shit and get together, you’ll start doing it. And I’ll have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my life.”

“We’re not going to be doing anything. He only kissed me because he’s jealous.”

“Did he say that?”

“In not so many words, yes.”

She snorted. “Then he’s an asshole.”

“At least we can agree on something,” I said, and her lips curved.

“I wish I knew what he was thinking,” she murmured, casting me a sympathetic glance.

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“Oh, Pops, don’t say that. You can work it out. I know you can.”

“I used to think so.” She slipped her arm around me and I laid my head on her shoulder. “I don’t know how to stop,” I whispered, picking some lint off my sweater

“Time. Distance,” she said, as if she knew exactly what I was talking about. “Allowing yourself new experiences and saying yes to new possibilities.”

“You sound like your mom.” Soft laughter spilled out of me.

“You don’t spend most of your life living with a school guidance counselor and not pick up a thing or two. But you could do the complete opposite though, you know? You could fight for him.”

“Sofe,” I let out a weary sigh. “I’ve been fighting for him since the summer before ninth grade when Staci Caulson tried to kiss him at your pool party.”

“It feels like that to you. But does he know? Does Aaron truly know how you feel?”

He did.

Didn’t he?

Even if we didn’t talk about it, everyone around us knew how I felt. Sure, our parents had never pushed because I think they thought it was a phase. A schoolgirl crush I would grow out of. And in a way, I had. I’d pushed down my feelings about Aaron as we’d gotten older because it became more and more apparent he didn’t feel the same.

“He knows,” I said quietly, an ache spreading through me.

How could he not after my outburst last night?

That’s why it hurt so much. To love someone and them not knowing was one thing. Unrequited love sucked. It sucked so hard. But when the other person knew and they didn’t reciprocate…

Well, that was the thing of heartbreak.

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