Page 110 of Missed Notes (Rixon High 5)

I hunched over, inhaling a deep breath. In and out. In and out.

At the beginning of the year, I’d never have imagined I’d end up here. About to start cancer treatment, my future hanging in the balance, lying to my brother and my friends.

It was a nightmare come true.

But I had Cole.

And that was something to be thankful for, even if the little voice in my head repeatedly whispered that I was selfish for letting him stay.

He came back with a bottle of water and a candy bar from the vending machine outside the cafeteria.

“Here.”

“Thanks.” I took them, going for the water first.

“How are you feeling now?”

“Okay.”

He grabbed another chair and scooted it toward mine, so we were sitting knee to knee.

“I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine.” I glanced at the floor, unable to look at him.

“Hey, don’t do that.” He cupped my face, drawing me back to him. “Don’t hide from me.”

“It’s only going to get worse, Cole. You know that, right?”

“You won’t scare me off. It doesn’t matter what you say, Sofe. You’re stuck with me.”

“Why?” I breathed.

“Because this is real, and I think we owe it to ourselves to see where it goes.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t come to the mixer. I don’t want to embarrass—”

“You could never.” He leaned forward, his hand sliding around to cup the back of my neck. “If you get sick or aren’t feeling it, we’ll leave. Simple.”

“Your dad won’t like that.”

“Yeah, well, he can get fucked. I’ve been thinking about what you said…”

“You have?”

“I won’t do it. I won’t go to Drexel and play the good little lap dog. I’ll only end up hating him more than I do now. And I won’t be there for Mom anyway.”

“You should talk to her.”

“Yeah. It’s weird because I’ve always known my father was a piece of shit. But the way Mom used to excuse his behavior, I thought it was normal.He’s working too hard, he’s stressed about a case, he finds it hard to show his emotion… She always had an excuse. And I went along with it because that’s what kids do.

“Jude asked me to play with the band again.”

“What?”

“Yeah, they got invited to play at Livewire but still need a second guitarist. It could be a big deal…”

“What did you tell him?”

---