Page 49 of Missed Notes (Rixon High 5)

“Why?” He frowned, sounding a little incredulous. “Because I like you, Sofia. And I want us to try and—”

I pressed my finger to his lips. “Please, don’t.”

“What are you so scared of? You like me. I know you do.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Stop saying that.” He reached for my hand, threading our fingers together. “It matters to me.”

God, this boy. He was going to be my undoing. I’d always managed to keep him at arm’s length, separating him as the boy I had a crush on and my brother’s best friend. I could look and lust but never touch.

Everything was different now.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope. There’s something here, Sofe. And I’m tired of fighting it.”

“I have leukemia,” I blurted out.

I hadn’t planned to tell him. Not here, not now. But there was no taking them back now they hung in the space between us.

Cole stared at me, his expression one of utter confusion. “W-what?”

“The doctor thinks it’s leukemia. I’m waiting for my biopsy results to confirm it, but he seemed pretty certain.”

“Leukemia… you have… fuck.” The blood drained from his face as he snatched his hand away.

Ouch.

That hurt.

As if he thought it was catching or something.

Cole stared out at nothing, rubbing a hand down his face.

It was silly. I’d told him my awful news, and yet, I was the one with the urge to comfort him.

“Maybe we should go,” I said after another minute passed.

It was getting awkward.

“Do you feel okay? Do I need to call someone? I can—”

“Relax, I’m fine. Better than fine actually. Today has been a good day.” I gave him a small, playful smile, hoping to lighten the mood again.

But Cole didn’t smile back.

In fact, he barely looked at me.

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes.

This… this was what I’d feared. Telling people and them totally freezing up on me. But it was different with Cole. Before the words had spilled out, he’d seen me as a desirable, beautiful girl he wanted to be with.

Now, all he saw was hair loss, nausea, and endless hospital visits.

I couldn’t blame him for wanting to run far, far away.

It didn’t stop it from hurting though.

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