Page 78 of Missed Notes (Rixon High 5)

“It’s so hard, Cole. I keep telling myself I can do it. That I can be strong and get through this. But what if I can’t? What if—”

I kissed her.

Not to shut her up, but to try and ground her. To alleviate some of her panic. When she curved her hands over my shoulders and pulled me closer, I figured it had worked.

Our tongues tangled, slow and steady. She got me so fucking hot, but this wasn’t about me or my needs.

It was about her.

“Your feelings are valid, Sofe,” I said, kissing her chastely. “Your parents understand that. Aaron will understand that.”

Her eyes fluttered as she inhaled a shuddering breath. “Thank you.”

“Do you want to get out of here? We could go—”

“No, actually I think I’m going to lie down, if you don’t mind. My head is starting to hurt a little.”

“Of course I don’t mind. Do you want me to stay?”

Panic flared in her eyes. “No. Aaron will be back soon.”

“I could stay, and we could talk to him together.”

“Do you think you could talk to him first? Break him in gently? Then I’ll talk to him later, I promise. I just… I’m not sure I can handle all the questions and his inevitable tantrum.”

“What do you want me to tell him?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “That we’ve been hanging out, I guess.”

Dejection curdled in my stomach.

“Hanging out?” My voice sounded distant. “Is that what you think we’ve been doing?”

“No, that’s not… Sorry, I’m just getting myself worked up. Dad saying that stuff has messed with my head.”

“Okay, okay, just breathe.” I cupped the back of her neck and drew her close. “I’ll talk to Aaron, and you get some rest.”

“You’re sure?”

I nodded, because what else could I do? She wasn’t ready to own this yet. I realized that now.

“It doesn’t change things, Cole. You know that, don’t you? I still want us to… you know.”

“Don’t worry about me, Sofe. I just want you to focus on you.”

It was her turn to nod. “Will you tell my parents I’m going back to bed?”

“Sure. Text me later and maybe I can come over and we can hang out?”

“Okay.” She pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. “And thank you. I owe you.”

Owe me?

I didn’t want her to feel like she owed me anything. But she was clearly upset and confused about things.

So reluctantly, I left, heading downstairs.

“How is she?” Mrs. B met me in the hallway, as if she’d been debating coming up to find out for herself.

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