Page 69 of To Wake a Kingdom

Voice pleading, she dropped her hands to her sides. “Because what difference would it have made? There was no one else here, and I thought if you knew, it wouldn’t help. You wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it, and that would have driven you mad.

“But then, by some twist of fate, the commander showed up, and I saw the way you looked at each other. I thought a miracle had been sent.”

“But you still didn’t tell me?”

“Would you have fallen in love if youhadto? That would have been too much pressure. It might have ruined everything. Love doesn’t work that way.”

I glared at her, but what she was saying made sense.

“That’s why you never seemed interested in breaking it.” She nodded. “And why you kept finding reasons for them to stay. And got Gideon’s help.” I remembered the two of them conspiring more than once.

She nodded again. “He said he’s never seen the commander this happy, and if we could save you both, he wanted to do everything he could to help.”

“Why a kiss? Why would that break the curse?”

Kianna shrugged. “I was working quickly when I cast it. There wasn’t time for creativity, so I relied on an old standby.”

I pressed my hand to my throat and sank down on the edge of the bed, emotions swelling in my chest.

“Do you love him, Your Highness?” Her question was strung in the air between us like a tentative garland.

“I…don’t know.” I saw the apology and the regret in her eyes. She thought she had been doing the right thing. “I think I could. I think I very much could.” She allowed herself a hopeful smile. “But I’ve been lying to him, Kianna.”

“Your Highness, he will understand about the curse and why you couldn’t tell him everything.”

I shook my head. Kianna may have lied, but I was no better. I’d told so many lies they threatened to bury me.“No, it’s not that.”

“Then what?” She sat down next to me, and I stared at my hands clenched in my lap.

“The man I killed. That day we woke up.” Kianna took my hand. “That man was the King of Estria. Ronan’s father.”

Kianna gasped, fingers pressing to her mouth. “What? That can’t be.”

“It is. That’s why Ronan and the others were in Tenby in the first place. They were searching for him in secret. They’re afraid of what will happen if anyone discovers he’s missing.”

Standing up, I paced the floor, touching my lip as I remembered the feel of Ronan’s kisses. He’d made me feel something profound. Something I never thought I’d have. And I’d betrayed his trust.

I had done a terrible thing. Not in killing the king, but in keeping it from Ronan all this time. Why had I let this go on for so long?

“I have to tell him. I think I could love him, and I think he could love me, too.” Hands pressed to my middle, I tried to calm the nest of wasps buzzing in my stomach. “But we can’t be anything if I don’t tell him the truth. I just hope I haven’t ruined everything.”

Kianna nodded, lines creasing her forehead.

Grabbing my coat, I yanked it on and ran outside to the stables, but they were empty. Circling around the side, I searched for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. Then I saw his footprints in the snow. A set of hoofprints ran alongside them, both prints leading into the forest toward my graveyard.

Dread morphed into a coiled serpent, sharp teeth and venomous fangs scratching under my skin. Following the footprints, I picked up my pace until I was sprinting through the trees. The horse came into view first. That fucking horse I should have dealt with when I still had the chance. I cut through the trees into the clearing.

Eleven neat squares burst with colorful flowers, but the twelfth was the only one I had eyes for. A light dusting of snow covered the clearing, the dense canopy of royal birch shielding the ground. I knew the hole hadn’t been deep enough. Ronan crouched next to the king’s grave. His head was bowed, and a scrap of rotted red material hung from his hand where the Estrian sigil stood out clearly on the cloth.

At my approach, he stood slowly.

My steps were tentative, like I was walking a tightrope, and one wrong move would send me plummeting off. The mask on his face was pieced from sorrow and pain and confusion.

I wanted to throw up. I wanted to die for making him feel this way. Last night, I’d made him smile like the sun lived inside him, and now, it was like I’d stolen every happy thought he’d ever had.

“Tell me this isn’t what it looks like, Thorne. What is my father’s horse doing here? What is this?” He held up the cloth, like blood dripping through his fingers. His eyes were wide and rolling as he lost control. “Tell me this isn’t what this looks like!” My strong, self-assured warrior was descending into panic, and it was all my fault.

I walked closer. “I can explain.”

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