Page 22 of An Agreement with the Soldier (Necessary Arrangements 2)

He huffed a breath of laughter. “And you’ve heard aplenty, haven’t you?”

“No, not plenty. Not as many as Evie in any case.”

“Why is she still unmarried then?” He finally looked at her. “Why are you, for that matter? Why hasn’t some duke or marquess swept you off your feet and brought you to his castle?”

Samantha laughed at that. “Evie was waiting for true love,” she said softly, and then chuckled as she saw Lord Ashbury grimace.

“In that case, I really did muck up the proposal, didn’t I?”

Sam heaved a sigh. “Evie comes from a very tight-knit family. They are all gone now, but both her parents and grandparents married for love. She grew up listening to their love stories before bedtime. That is the only way she ever saw a marriage. And that’s what her family wanted for her. But then, life intervened. Her parents passed away, ending her first season prematurely. She was in mourning for two whole years before she braved thetonagain.”

“Is that so?” Lord Ashbury asked, frowning.

“Yes.” Sam nodded. “With her grandfather gone last year, she’s been left all alone… Don’t you think she should at least have a husband who loves her? Whom she loves back? Or at the very least someone she can grow to love and who can grow to love her in return.”

Lord Ashbury swallowed and closed his eyes. “Then she shouldn’t marry me,” he said quietly.

They continued a slow trot in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. That wasn’t the confrontation Sam had expected to have with the baron. She’d expected him to be more selfish, to not care about Evie’s feelings, or to pretend to care in order to get what he wanted. But he seemed sincerely pained that he would not be able to give Evie what she yearned for.

“What about you?” he finally asked.

“What about me?” Sam asked, frowning.

“Why aren’t you married?”

“Sometimes I think it is our family curse.” She turned to him with a cheerful smile. He looked puzzled. “You see, none of my siblings are married yet. And most of them are older than me.”

“And how many siblings do you have?”

“One sister and three brothers.”

“Are you all looking for love too? Because I have to tell you, it seems like the odds are against you.”

She thought about the answer for a while. “I don’t think my brothers are looking for anything,” she finally said. “At least not yet. And my sister… Well, it is a long story, but she’s been burned by love once before. I think she decided it was not worth the risk. Besides, she has other concerns to occupy her thoughts. And as for me… no, I don’t think I am looking for love. I just have trouble connecting with people, especially gentlemen.”

“I find that very hard to believe,” he answered earnestly.

“Thank you for saying so.” She smiled. “However, I am not flirtatious or coquettish. I prefer a good book to a boring conversation, and I am not really interested in how many hounds or horses one owns or how large one’s estates are, something gentlemen seem to constantly want to tell me.”

“They want to impress you.” He laughed.

“Well, it’s not working.” Sam was tempted to roll her eyes. “I do not need some grand love or all-consuming passion. All I want is someone I can have a decent conversation with. Someone I can spend quiet evenings with, either reading or playing board games. Someone to go out riding with each morning. A friendship.”

Lord Ashbury was quiet for a while. They rode in silence, side by side, each engrossed in their own thoughts. Sam maneuvered her horse to avoid a puddle and brushed her knee against Lord Ashbury’s. A curious jolt hit her from the contact, and she smiled at him apologetically.

“I used to want those same things,” he finally breathed.

Sam blinked at him.

“From marriage. All the things you’ve described.” He shook his head. “But much like your sister, I’ve been burned by love. You might know this, since you are very close to the duchess. I was in love once too.”

Sam nodded. “With Lady Clydesdale.”

Lord Ashbury huffed a laugh. “Julie—yes. I dreamed of such companionable evenings with her. The friendship, the love, all in one relationship. She knew me like no one else ever did. When she married… I think I lost a part of myself. A peaceful part. Then the war did the rest. Or war came first, I don’t remember anymore. In any case, I am far too damaged to offer any kind of comfort to a lady now. And if you are worried about your friend, you have reason to. I am not going to be an easy person to live with. If she’s open to a marriage of convenience, to a marriage where husband and wife lead separate lives, then she will be getting exactly that. If she wants anything more, she will be sorely disappointed.”

* * *

Sam returned home without having eased her mind, and if she was honest with herself, with an even heavier weight on her shoulders. She liked Lord Ashbury. She truly did. Despite the impression he’d made at the ball, he wasn’t rude or callous. She wanted him to solve his financial issues and to have a companionable wife but not Evie. Evie deserved a lot more than that. She deserved a marriage built on love and passion, just as she had always dreamed.

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