Page 45 of Forbidden Firefighter

“I’m a physical therapist,” she said. “I work with all kinds of patients. But, I mainly do home health and go to people’s houses to help them through their exercises and stretches.”

So, she not only had all her military training to fall back on in case of an emergency, but she also retained basic medical skills.

I stopped myself before delving too far into an interview process. Isn’t that what this was anyway? Was that what all dating was? A series of questions to see how compatible you were with the other person before investing all your time and energy in them?

This felt even colder. I shouldn’t be interviewing for the position of my wife, and yet, here we were.

This is what I wanted, I reminded myself. Something simple and easy. Someone who satisfied all the needs and requirements in my life, while also adding something special to it.

Crystal certainly seemed to fit that bill. Beyond falling into every category perfectly, I knew my family would be in good hands with her. And not just from a loving, considerate standpoint, from a practical one, too.

Wasn’t that what all rational people did? They weighed the reality of the situation before diving headfirst into their feelings. They didn’t find someone they cared about first, someone who sparked irrevocable feelings within them, then adjust everything they wanted so they could be with them.

Though, it had never been that way with Lyndsey either.

She’d never said she didn’t want a family, or that she would never settle down one day. She’d only said she didn’t want me. Which was more than enough to remind me why Crystal was the better choice.

The only choice.

They were two sides of the same coin really. Both are beautiful, strong, confident, and determined in what they wanted. Though they faced two different directions, both staring out in pursuit of different things.

We talked for another hour or so, swapping stories and sharing interests. Perhaps she hadn’t been my first choice, but she was more than what I could have ever hoped for. I owed it to her and to myself, to see this thing through.

Wherever it landed us.

* * *

“So how did it go?” Lyndsey asked.

She didn’t even bother to look at me. In fact, beyond our initial greeting, she’d spent most of our meeting with her head buried in the files or clicking through some phantom compliance questionnaire on her computer.

“Fine,” I said.

How far into details did I go? Whatever happened between us, no matter how far out of control and spectacular, it was never going to happen again. Acting excited about finding someone I connected with was all a part of our relationship. She was still my matchmaker, still the person in charge of seeing I found the perfect person. If I didn’t show the right amount of enthusiasm, I wouldn’t get any further with my search.

We could do this. Get past all the awkward feelings and setbacks. Couldn’t we?

“It was great, actually,” I added. “I think I might actually be interested in the next steps.”

“Oh. That’s...great,” Lyndsey said, finally looking up from her papers to look at me.

This was definitely still awkward.

She pivoted back toward the computer beside her, sifting through additional information hidden from my view. “I’ll have to check the file and make sure she’s also agreed to the shift. It can take a few days, you know. Sometimes they don’t update it right away, and…oh.”

Her eyes assessed the computer with a strange meld of disappointment and confusion. The rules demanded both parties remain anonymous to some extent. Brooke was likely a middle name, rather than a pseudonym, Crystal had chosen in place of her real last name. This simple difference prevented us from giving out too much information before and after the initial meeting. If all things worked out, and both parties were interested in pursuing a deeper relationship, then we would contact the agency for more information. If Crystal didn’t want to pursue a relationship with me any further, then that would be the end of it.

The curious look on Lyndsey’s face did little to ease my anxiety.

“Looks like she submitted her response already,” Lyndsey said, forcing a smile. “Seems that old charm of yours worked. So, I can go ahead and send you both the other’s information, and you can just update us on your progress after that.”

“Great.”

“Great.” Silence slipped between us. Only the clicking of computer keys filled the void, until the printer chimed in. Lyndsey reached behind her and removed the page from the printer before handing it back to me. “Here’s her information.”

“Thanks,” I said, once again falling into that awkward gap of uncertainty. Did I ask her about her day? It felt so cold returning to a purely professional relationship after all we’d been through. Lyndsey could barely even hold eye contact with me for longer than a second. She wouldn’t want to endure meaningless small talk for the sake of preserving a friendship.

And yet, my feet fastened to the floor. I didn’t rise to walk out, and neither did she. Did I ask her about the next steps in my relationship with Crystal? Was there something else I needed to know? This all felt like it was happening so fast, and I still had no idea how to handle any of it. I knew how dating worked. I knew how to behave around women.

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