Page 121 of Knot for Me
ChapterThirty-Three
REAGAN
I wake to an empty bed, mood instantly souring when I find the mattress cold. Somewhere around three in the morning I decided I could try to change. I cried while he slept next to me, releasing all the stupid resentment toward my brothers and every controlling alpha I’d ever met. Cory was right. They’re different. They’re nothing like those assholes. I can recognize my own faults for what they are.
A cowardly excuse to keep myself from finding love.
I’m tired of being afraid, especially after they kept their word through my heat. There was never even a chance of them trying to mate me against my will. They did exactly what they said they’d do and didn’t ask for anything more from me than I was ready to give.
If that doesn’t tell me who they are, I don’t know what will.
There’s still a chance that they could turn out to be dicks once we mate, but Cory’s outburst was a prime opportunity for him to show me who he really was. All I saw was a frustrated man who wanted me more than anything. I don’t know if I’ll ever find something like this again, and I’d be an idiot to let them go.
Knowing they’re probably at work since it’s Wednesday, I take my time getting ready. I shower, shave, blow-dry my hair, and put on one of my cuter outfits—a nice pair of black shorts and a pretty pink tank top. I don’t want to overdo it. I only add mascara. Lipstick would end up wearing off anyway. I can only hope by the time the guys get home I haven’t chickened out.
I pick up my phone, needing the one person who always knows what to say. Sitting on the bed, I dial Mom.
“Hey, Rea. Happy belated birthday! How was your heat?”
“I need advice,” I say, ignoring everything else she said.
“Anything, baby. What happened?” Mom sounds ready to rip apart the alphas if she needs to.
“My heat was amazing. I thought I could be strong and resist them, but I wanted them so badly.”
“Did they hurt you?”
“No, no,” I say in a rush. “They were wonderful.”
“Okay. What are you thinking?” Mom’s voice is soft and soothing.
“I… I like them, Mom. But ever since what happened with Alex and Aaron, I haven’t wanted mates.”
“Oh, honey.” She releases a shaky breath. “You’ll never know how sorry I am for what they did to you. I hope you know your fathers don’t treat me like that and there are plenty of alphas who will treat you right. Are these guys kind?”
“Yeah,” I admit. “Lucas is kind of a pain, but I’ve been a brat.”
“Do they respect your boundaries?” she asks, sniffing. I hate that she’s crying.
“Yeah, they do.” I bite my lip.
“Well,” she pauses and blows her nose, “those are the alphas you want to keep, babe. Your brothers… I don’t know where I went wrong, but they’re not good alphas. You deserve a pack that knows how to treat an omega.”
“I think they do,” I say, standing from my bed and pacing the floor. “I don’t know if I can trust my emotions though. I like them… a lot. It’s almost too much,” I whisper.
“Well, that’s what happens when you start to fall in love.”
I scoff. “I’ve only known them for three weeks.”
“So?”
“So, I can’t love them.”
She laughs. “Reagan, one thing I know for sure is love doesn’t make any sense. You could know them for a day or for four years. Love happens when it happens.”
“What if they turn out to be bad?” I ask, glancing out of my windows. “What if they’re too good to be true?”
“Then you tell your fathers and they take care of those bastards.” She sighs. “I know you have a hard time believing things will be okay, but if they’ve taken care of you through your heat and they didn’t hurt you, I don’t think they’ll turn out bad. They lose control during heats… you would have seen the worst they had to offer during it.”
