Page 42 of Knot for Me
Holding his stare, I swivel my hips, whimpering when he circles my clit again.
“It takes a little bit for me to finish,” he says, pressing down hard. “But I’m going to make you come until I’m done. I’m going to take everything you have to give me until I’m done filling you up. You good with that?”
Him checking with me makes me feel like complete shit because it highlights the fact that I’m the bad guy here. I’m the one who fucked up, and I don’t deserve his kindness. I’m a horrible omega.
“Is that good?” he asks again, waiting for me to respond.
“Yes.” I nod, dropping one hand to hold his forearm when his touch becomes too much.
“Breathe, Reagan. Let me make you feel good.”
“Okay.” I surrender control, breathing and losing myself to his touch. My body trembles for him. I whisper his name. I scream his name. I come so many times I can’t think straight. He kisses me until I forget about everything but the way his knot feels.
“I’m almost done,” he says, lips brushing over my cheeks. “You’re doing so good.”
I laugh, covering my face with my hands. “You’re being too nice.”
“What, you want me to make you hate me? You want me to be a dick about this?”
“No,” I confess, moving my hands to look at him.
His hips jerk hard as a final orgasm hits him. “Damn,” he says, palms running over my thighs. His gaze finds mine, guarded yet concerned. “Reagan?”
“It’s okay,” I say, needing him to know this isn’t his fault. It’s mine. I shouldn’t have let it get this far. I knew what I was doing. I was being reckless. I should have known I couldn’t handle sex with an alpha without my instincts trying to take over.
Lucas slides out of me, lifting me off of him and setting me at his side. He props himself up on one arm, staring at me. “Did I hurt you?” he asks, concern lining his face.
“No,” I say quickly. “You were fucking perfection.” I scrub my hand over my face. “This can’t happen again.”
If it does, I’ll lose myself to him. Then I’ll become nothing more than a breeder. Sex with Lucas was great, but I can’t let myself become everything I swore to hate. I can’t be this pack’s omega. I’m the maid. That’s all I can be.
He doesn’t speak for a minute. “Reagan—”
“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself. Can you please… can you please just go?” I close my eyes. I don’t want him to see how much I hate this. I hate that I can’t lose myself in him without my omega instincts taking over. I hate that I want his knot but I don’t want it all at the same time. I hate that I can’t think when he’s around. I hate that I begged him for it and I fucking loved it. Ihateall of this.
His hand cups my cheek, and his lips brush over mine. “I’m sorry.”
A sob threatens to break free, so I bite my cheek, shaking my head. “It wasn’t you.” I peek at him, noting the frown and confusion.
“Maybe I should stay…” He trails off.
“Please go.” I push his chest, and he sits back on his heels. “I need to get ready for Amelie.”
“Okay,” he says, brow furrowed. He grabs his clothes, eyes flicking to me once more. “If it was the begging—”
I really wish he didn’t feel so bad about it; it makes wanting to keep the distance harder. He is so worried he did something wrong.
“Lucas,” I say, holding his gaze. “It wasn’t you. I made a mistake. I’m sorry it made you feel bad.”
His jaw ticks. “A mistake?”
I sigh. “I’m sorry.”
Stiffening when I don’t say anything else, he nods and walks away. And when my bedroom door shuts with a solid thwack, a tear slips down my cheek. I ruined whatever that was between us.It’s for the best, I tell myself.
* * *
Amelie arrives a few minutes later, a box of garbage bags tucked under her arm. She stops when she sees me sitting on the bed, tips her head to the side and breathes in. Her face scrunches, her lips twitch into a smile, but then the grin falls when she realizes I’m not happy.
