Page 185 of Unforgivable

"Daan," I say back. It's all I can say, his name.

"I'm sorry, Dad."

I just nod once. It's an abrupt, small movement. My head feels heavy on my shoulders, no longer able to bear the weight they once could.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?"

"Yes," I croak out.

"It's OK, Dad. This isn't your fault. It's mine. I lost her because of my own actions."

"I'm sorry Cloe di-"

"Not Cloe!" he snarls. "Don't- she's not my mate. She's my mistake."

I close my eyes. My mistake, too, son. I should have seen it.

"I've been thinking," he murmurs.

"About?"

He sighs. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

I blink back tears. "Yes." I have no idea who he's even talking about right now. Lyri or Cloe? Does it even matter at this point? What's done can never be undone.

"I was always so mean to her," he slurs out. "We used to laugh about her, Cloe and I. We used to make fun of her, always working, studying. Called her a nerd, uptight, a suck-up, said she was no fun, that she was a frigid bitch." He hiccups a sad laugh.

I force myself to stay and listen. It's almost time...

"I told myself I hated her. And every time I would find myself looking at her, I would catch myself and call her ugly, too fat, too short, too plain."

"Sometimes, I would see her eyes, and I wouldn't be able to insult her, not at all. They were always sad and determined. So strong. And I would have to picture Cloe's eyes. I always pictured her crying. She would cry if she caught me staring at her. I... I'm so stupid not to see that Cloe always knew who she is to me. I didn't even know that she found her mate. I thought I had to protect Cloe, but I... I hurt Lyri. I didn't need to hurt Lyri."

His words stop, and I try not to cry, to be as silent as my son is, so he doesn't know I'm as defeated as he is.

"I have nightmares. She's c-crying, pleading with the moon to stop them from h-hurting her. She's b-bleeding everywhere and c-can't escape," he starts sobbing.

I think he's finished speaking when he gains control over his tears.

"She never calls for me. Her eyes don't search for me anymore. She's stolen away and never says my name. My mate... she never says my name."

I have to take deep breaths to control my tears. Goddess, this is impossible. How did this ever happen?

I blame myself. I know it's Daan's rejection that swung the pendulum into motion, but if I hadn't lost my mind and allowed a Shaming...

Lyri would have left the pack. One day, Daan would have realized his mistake. Would he have had a chance with her? Could he have redeemed himself if I had made a better choice myself?

It's too late to wonder about it now. It's far too late.

"It's time, son."

---

It's midnight.

This is the right thing to do. It is agonizing. My spine is so stiff I feel like I will shatter at any moment.

Jessi is gone. Abandoning both son and mate to hide from the ugly truth. I stood alone on the stage an hour ago to introduce Inuit Genom as the heir to the RustClaw. I have lost my mate forever because I can't leave my pack. They deserve more than that from me. In a moment, I will lose my son, too.

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