Page 15 of Reclaimed Dreams

Bless that man. He hadn’t always known how to support her, but he’d learned along the way, same as she had.

Instead of reaching for her reliable cotton underwear and nude bra, she pulled out the satin set before tearing into the plastic bag and donning her red power suit. Today was going to be a good day. And tonight Dom just might get lucky. He’d given her a boost this morning without even being there. She could return the favor tonight.

Feeling like she could conquer the world, Jo strode back out into the world with her head high, lemons in a grocery bag, and three minutes to spare.

2 years ago

Alessandro was very attentive as the group toured the Winchester Mystery House, built by the widow who’d inherited the gunmaker’s fortune and spent years trying to outrun the ghosts created by his invention by building the most confusing house in the country. The idea of never-ending construction on her home sent an honest-to-God chill down Jo’s spine. How had that woman lived with all of the hammering and dust?

Jo could not imagine willingly choosing to do that if she weren’t married to a contractor. Which led her to thoughts of Dom and their failing marriage. But Alessi distracted her from her melancholy.

Small touches at her back as they rounded corners, allowing her to go first up the bizarrely shallow stairs. Always right next to her, ready to laugh at her sarcastic comments. He was a perfect gentleman.

So why was she so annoyed?

“Jo, can you imagine? All this space by herself? It’s wild.”

“It’s sad. It needed a family and friends and visitors. She didn’t have any of that,” she replied. She tried to imagine a life without her bustling Friday dinners and crazy family Christmases. A deep sadness chilled her, and she couldn’t blame it all on the haunted house.

After the tour, Alessandro invited her to go across the street to Santana Row for a late lunch. “I’ll take you to my favorite. You’ll love it.”

Jo nodded, distracted by her unease, and followed him.

She sat down at a place that served “California cuisine” and cost more than it had any right to, being a casual lunch spot.

“We’ll have a bottle of the chardonnay, an artichoke to share, and I’ll have the steak frites. Jo, you should try the Cobb salad here. You’ll love it.”

Jo nodded to the waitress and handed off the menu she hadn’t even finished reading. It was his money. He could spend it how he chose, even if artichokes in restaurants were always over-steamed and served cold. She hated chardonnay though, and put her hand over her glass when the waitress came back to serve them.

“You don’t want wine?” Alessandro asked.

“No, I don’t care for chardonnay.”

“I wish you’d said something before I ordered a whole bottle.”

That’s when it hit her. She was doing it again. Going along with what a man wanted and not speaking her mind. No. Never again. She was stronger than this.

“I wish you’d asked me what I wanted to drink before you ordered.”

Alessandro cringed and changed the subject. “Fair point. So what did you think about the house?” he asked, sipping the wine he clearly preferred.

“It was so sad. Think of her living all alone in that great big house, afraid of the legacy her husband left behind.”

“Yeah, kind of crazy, huh?”

“I didn’t say she was crazy. I said it was sad. She lived her whole life unsettled and alone because of something her husband did.”

“Yes, but who spends millions of dollars based on the advice of a psychic and isn’t a little crazy?”

“A woman who felt guilt deeply.” Jo looked at the salad as the waitress set it down in front of her. It was deconstructed into little piles with artfully drizzled blue cheese dressing and looked ridiculous. She hated blue cheese. Why the hell hadn’t she spoken up? What was she doing?

She’d thought this was what she wanted. An attractive man paying attention to her, interesting experiences, good food and wine… It was everything she’d wanted for her retirement. Except she was sitting across from the wrong man.

Even as frustrated as she was with Dom, she missed him. When he ordered wine, it was always because her favorite was on the menu. When he suggested a dish, it was because he knew her taste. She didn’t want to fulfill her dreams with just anyone. She wanted the man she still loved to pull his head out of his ass.

Moreover, Jo wanted a chance to start exercising her voice and her will with him instead of against him. She regretted her years of silence and capitulation. She was part of the problem. She should have said something sooner. They would have argued, sure, but he would have taken her needs into account. She’d always just assumed that her needs weren’t as important, because she hadn’t been the breadwinner for so many years.

But that wasn’t true. She was just as valuable a member of their marriage as he was. Sadly, by the time she’d figured that out, they’d been too far down that road to change course.

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