Page 18 of Kissed By My Roommate

The moment I walk through the door, I head straight to the kitchen, knowing I’ll find Juniper there. His mossy green eyes come up, meet mine and soften. He doesn’t hesitate, he stands up and strides to me, gently tugging my purse off my shoulder and placing it on the kitchen island.

Then before I can say a word, before a single tear can fall, before I can break, I’m in his arms. He hugs me to his chest, his large hands soothing up and down my back and making me sink into him. He takes my pain without a single word. I can feel it leeching out of me to be absorbed by him.

I know I shouldn’t let him. I know it’s not right, but I don’t think he would listen if I said as much. So, I let him have it.

When his hand wraps around the nape of my neck, his thumb presses against my tense muscles and I feel them unlock in a way my body has been begging for since the moment the first hard call came in tonight.

Juniper’s voice is gentle and coaxing, “Rough night?”

I bury my face deeper into his chest and nod. My words are muffled against him, but I know he hears me; he always hears me, “Yeah. So many people having the worst moments of their life. I don’t know if I helped them or not. We get the call, we dispatch and then its out of our hands.” My voice cracks, “It makes me feel so fucking helpless sometimes.”

Juniper’s strong hands are on me, covering me, soothing me. “You’re so brave and strong, Sweetheart. I can’t imagine some of the horrible things you’ve gotten calls about.”

I pull back and look up at him, tears welling up in my eyes. Usually, I can compartmentalize between my life and my job, but tonight got me. Maybe the shell around my heart isn’t as thick as it once was because Juniper’s cracked it.

I should be angry at him, but I can’t find it in me to pull that emotion forward.

“A ten-year-old called in a few hours ago because they found their dad not breathing on the couch when they got up to go to the bathroom.” I let out a sob as tears start to fall, dripping down my cheeks, so much pain and heartache falling from me. Juniper cups my cheeks and wipes away my tears with his thumbs. “I probably shouldn’t even tell you that, but it just hurt so much. I can’t imagine the pain he’s in. He’s just a little boy.” I close my eyes, “The whole night seemed to be one tragedy after another.”

Juniper kisses my forehead and then my nose, my cheeks, my eyes. I melt against him and let him soothe me, let him make me feel something other than pain.

“So strong,” he murmurs.

I shake my head fiercely, my words broken, “I don’t feel strong.”

“You are,” there’s conviction in his tone and I know he won’t be swayed to believe anything different.

Am I strong? Or am I just me? I have no idea. Does it even matter?

I’m there for people when they’re experiencing something they never want to experience. I help to keep them calm and ensure help is on the way. I don’t know if it’s strength which allows me to do it, but maybe it is.

Maybe I can believe him.

If I can believe him about this, maybe I can let go of my fears when it comes to committing to him as well.

“I don’t like to see you hurting, Zo,” there’s pain lacing through his words and it cuts me right to my soul.

I blink up at him to find his moss green eyes filled with concern, but there’s also a determination there. I know it’s there because he wants to slay my demons. He wants to defend me and keep me safe. The problem is I take this burden and pain on and have done so willingly.

He has no idea how to fight against that. But I know he wants to. Somehow, it’s enough.

I melt into his body and wrap my arms around him. “I know you don’t, Juni,” I whisper the words against his lips when they’re only a breath apart. “You can’t protect me from everything, and I do love my job. Some days are tougher than others.

He nods, a solemn look on his face. “I want to take away your pain,” he confesses on a whisper. “Will you let me?”

His eyes are pleading with me now and I find myself nodding. I want him to take away my pain as well. I know he can. He makes me feel joy and love when we’re together.

He picks me up and my legs wrap around his waist. When his large hands cup my ass, his strong fingers, the ones he uses to make beautiful art which he swears I inspire, knead my flesh. I moan as our lips crash together like magnets no longer able to fight the pull.

Why would we want to? We may have started out as roommates, but we both knew it was so much more. It took me a little longer than him to know and admit the truth. He was solid in his resolve, in his knowledge.

With the first kiss I gave myself over to him. I’m so damn glad I did. Even if he makes one hell of a racket sometimes.

"I love you," I moan the words against his lips and his steps stutter for a moment before his body freezes.

He rips his mouth from mine and stares down at me with an intensity which has me squirming against his hard body. He searches my face, but I’m not sure what he’s looking for. If he’s checking to see if I’m sincere, I know what he’ll find.

The truth.

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