Page 33 of Never Going to Care

I roar, “Celeste,” before groaning, “Starlight.”

It feels like I’m floating amongst exactly that as we come together. As her pussy flutters around my cock, milking me, I curse the fucking condom I have on. And her damn birth control.

I’ve never really thought a lot about children before, but for this woman, if it’s what she wants, then I’d get over my shit and be the father our children deserve to have. I might still be grumpy. I wouldn’t be asked to volunteer or join the PTA, but I’d always have their back.

Fucking always.

As the gold sparkles of our claiming settle around us, floating back to Earth along with our frantic hearts, I know I’ll never be the same after tonight. I don’t want to be. I’m no longer Hale, I’m Celeste’s man. Pride fills me with the thought.

I look down at Celeste, our chests rising and falling as we fight to breathe, to experience, and I can see the walls closing back down around her heart. I hate it, but I know it’s just another battle I’m going to fight.

Not out of duty or misguided needs. I’m going to do it because she’s worth it. Because she needs me. Because I need her.

She’s it for me.

I never fully understood what Landon meant. Fuck, I didn’t even fully comprehend what Beckett, Sebastian and Blake were saying at the wedding. But right here and now, wrapped up in the arms of my woman and our skin still slick with sweat as evidence of our claim, I get it.

I hate the way her gaze shutters, but I let it go.

For now.

I slide out of her warmth, hating the loss of it, but knowing this isn’t a one-time thing. There’s no way it can be. Not with her. This is a lifetime and a little bit more kind of thing.

I pad to the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and getting it wet with warm water after I dispose of the condom. Even though guarded, she watches me, appraises me, as I stalk back to her. I can see the protest on her lips before she can give it a voice and I silence her with a shake of my head.

“Let me take care of you, Starlight,” my plea is whispered and weighted, but it’s enough because she allows her legs to fall open so I can clean her up.

With a flick of my wrist, I toss the cloth into the hamper before sliding into bed with my woman. I haul her against me and wrap my body around hers, hoping it gives her racing thoughts and her doubts a buffer, a shelter, a place to ease and find peace.

I don’t know if I succeed, but the way she glances over her shoulder at me, with a little bit of awe and surprise, makes me think I do. I’m afraid she’s going to slip from me by the time morning breaks, but I chase the thought away because fear will only ruin this moment between us.

If she thinks this is the only one we’re going to get, I want to make sure it stays pure.

“Starlight,” I whisper in her hair. She turns a little bit so I can see her eyes. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you when I first met you in the conference room. You did an amazing job with Piper’s wedding. Thank you for doing something so special for them. Landon is like a brother to me. He has been for a long time. He deserves his happiness.”

She nods slowly. I can see the questions there, but she doesn’t put a voice to them. Maybe she doesn’t want the answers.

I kiss Celeste again, hoping I can pour everything I feel, everything I need, everything I’m going to give her, into it. I lost so much hope along the way. Most of it is splatter upon a battlefield I’m not even sure I should have been on anymore.

I didn’t think I would be able to get it back and I never really considered what the loss of it was doing to me.

Now that I have it again, right here in my arms, I know I’m never going to let it go again.

She’s my hope. She’s the star which guides me home and makes me feel small and infinite at the same time. I’ll be her sentry, watching over and giving her a sense of wonder.

If she’ll let me.

Fuck, I hope she’ll let me.

CHAPTER 12

CELESTE

It’s been five days. Five days since I woke up in Hale’s arms and snuck away from him like I was some fucking thief. Maybe I am.

I stole my own happiness that morning. Maybe I stole his too. I don’t know, but I know it’s been eating at me in a way no guilt or shame has before.

It’s like I haven’t been able to take a full breath for the last five days. Not since I closed the door to his place before hopping in a ride, wearing a dress I’ll never be able to look at again.

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