Page 5 of Never Going to Care

She’s starting the next chapter in her life and I’m still just…me. I love my job but working in HR isn’t exactly glamorous. My dating life is so abysmal that I’m not even trying anymore. My couch sees more of my ass than anyone else does.

Maybe that’s how it’s all supposed to be. Maybe it’s simply part of growing up. I just hate the feeling like I’m missing out on something big which everyone else seems to be on top of.

When Piper and I stop laughing and can catch our breath, she leans into me like she’s telling me a secret. “That was Hale Torres. He might have come off like a jerk, but he’s really not.”

I arch an eyebrow and shake my head. “You’re saying he didn’t just act like the biggest grump in all of grump-town? The winner of most jerkiest at a spot the jerk contest?”

Piper barks out a laugh and concedes, “You have a point.” She gives a little shrug. “You get used to it. Some of the guys around here are a little rough around the edges.” She gives me a pointed look. “You know how it used to be for me with Landon.”

She has a point, but I don’t want any ideas in her head about anything with me involving Hale. Nope. No way. No how.

Talk about disaster and heartbreak written all over him. Hale makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I’m not sure if it’s in the worst of ways or the best. I’m leaning toward worst.

I snort, “Oh please, that man was in love with you for years.” Piper looks like she’s fucking glowing when I point out how long Landon was pining away for her. I twist my lips up. “I’ve known some rough around the edges guys before. You’ve met some of the other guys Ezra has played hockey with. They’ve ranged from pure psychopath to definitely got hit in the head too many times.”

“Well,” she concedes, “some of them probably did get hit in the head too many times. And they’re all jacked up on the need to win and testosterone.”

I snort, “As if Hale isn’t jacked up on testosterone?”

Piper blinks at me one time and I play the words back through my head. It almost sounded like some wistful compliment from a lovesick puppy. Not good. Not at all.

Tamp it down, you don’t need his brand of mess in your life, especially considering he could hardly look at you without derision in his gaze.

Piper whispers, “If you think Hale is a grump, wait until you meet Blaze.” My eyes widen at the prospect of their being a bigger grump than Hale.

Hale with his eyes so dark that they almost look black, slight beard and broad shoulders. It’s clear he works out and I don’t think I’d be sad about finding out what is underneath is clothes at all. He has a tan complexion and his hair, while short, was begging for me to run my fingers through.

Shut it down, that man is not interested and he’s not the one for you.

Deflect!

I point out the door and cock my head to the side, a little bit of tease and sass in my voice, “A bigger grump than him?”

Piper smirks at me and nods slowly. “You know these guys are all former military.” She looks out the door as if she can see the guys who she has come to love, the family that they’ve forged, even though we’re alone in the room together. There’s pride in her voice, “They witnessed atrocities and acted in the name of our country.” She sighs, “But it’s a heavy burden to bear and they all deal with it in different ways.”

Guilt worms its way through my chest. Is that why Hale is so abrasive? Because of his time serving? Fucking hell, that makes me feel like shit on a stick.

“Well,” I mumble, “when you put it like that, I feel like an ass.”

Piper reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze before shaking her head. “You shouldn’t. He was rude and abrasive. It’s not like his past gives him a pass. No one’s does even if it might give a reason for their behavior.”

I gasp and press my hand to my chest, “When did you get so smart?”

Piper rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out at me and then we’re lost in all the hubbub of picking out details for the wedding. When most things are decided on and we have lists of the things we need to do next, I feel like we’re that much closer to getting everything in place for my best friend. She deserves it and so much more.

Still, even as we work and then after I sneak out of SP like a damn ninja while actively avoiding Hale, I can’t shake the feeling of him looking at me. It felt like his eyes stripped me bare. I’m not sure if I like the feeling or not.

I’m going to go with not. Stripping someone, literally or metaphorically, the first time you meet them doesn’t make a great first impression.

Maybe I just need to get laid, but the thought of going on the prowl for one night of passion leaves me feeling…cold. I’m not willing or ready to analyze why that is. I’m also not willing to think too deeply on the fact that as I finish up my day, Hale’s eyes are right there staring back at me in my mind.

The imagination is a funny thing, so are fucking hormones. It doesn’t mean anything and I’m not going to let it. Hale is a disaster walking on two legs with a shit personality to go right along with it. He has a past, everyone does. Not everyone takes their pain out on other people.

So, why does the thought of him being in pain, true, soul-deep pain, make me want to curl my body around him and never let him go? Just being around him for a few minutes was exhausting and exasperating. I cling to that, reinforcing the ways he pissed me off instead of the other thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head.

Yeah, bury your head in the sand, it always works out great.

Fuck. My subconscious is a real buzzkill sometimes.

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