Page 57 of The Penalty Shot (Totally Pucked 5)

“So…what did I miss?” He grins, all-knowingly. “Besides you being ravaged by SG.”

My eyes roll at the ridiculous nickname, and I offer a shrug. “Well…I should probably start with the fact that my parents showed up at my front door.”

Elijah’s jaw hangs open, his eyes wide with surprise, while a gasp tumbles from his lips.

I spend the next thirty minutes, sipping my now watered-down margarita, trying to nibble on the food that was brought out and telling Eli about the fiasco with my parents. My chest hurts by the time I finish, and my throat is clogged with emotion.

It hurts. Even over a week later, it hurts knowing that my parents are truly this cruel and would purposefully hurt me. It feels like a fresh wound that continually breaks open through the years, leaving me scarred.

“Fuck them,” Eli spits, tossing his napkin onto the table. “They’re such pompous, pretentious assholes. God, Aud. You deserve fucking better. Don’t listen to a word that bitch has to say.”

“I wish it was easy to just turn it off and not care…but they’re myparents,Eli. I guess part of me just keeps holding on to hope that one day things will change. I wish things were different. It makes me feel so…stupid. For giving them so many opportunities to hurt me. Like, I’m a glutton for punishment or something.”

I can feel tears welling in my eyes, a sharp sting that I will away. I hate that I give them so much power, but I can’t help it.

Elijah reaches over the table with his palm up, and I slip my hand into his. It’s soft and warm, and just the amount of comfort I need right now.

“Aud, you have the best heart of any person that I know, and that’s an incredible thing. You see the good in everyone, even if it’s buried deep beneath the surface. Your parents are taking advantage of that, and that’s athemproblem, not ayouproblem. Only they are responsible for their behavior and actions. They have already hurt you so much, do not give them the power to hurt you for feeling guilty for their behavior.”

Sniffling, I use my free hand to wipe away the few tears that have slipped down my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Eli, for making our reunion lunch so depressing.”

He squeezes my hand gently. “Hey, stop apologizing. I swear, going forward, Auden, I want you to not apologize to anyone.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re done saying you’re sorry. For anything. For other people’s feelings, for their behavior, for things that you have no control over. Auden, you are my best friend, and you have spent too much time giving other people power over your life. It’s time to take it back, all of it. Your power. Your control. You are a badass bitch, and it’s time you start acting like it.”

A laugh tumbles from my lips at his sentiment.

“You make it sound so easy. Like, hey, I’ve been a doormat my entire life, and now, I’m going to be this confident girl who’s afraid of nothing.”

He shakes his head, his blue eyes stormy. “That’s exactly what you’re going to do. The next time you find yourself apologizing, don’t. Be you. Un-fucking-apologetically. When your parents have something to say, shut that shit down. Stand up for yourself and tell them you’re not going to take their shit. I believe in you, Aud. I think that this…” he gestures all around us, “is exactly what you needed to find yourself. Maybe even SG is helping with that.”

Asher’s name causes my stomach to flip and my cheeks to heat.

“Oh, I see that look,” Elijah says, sitting back in his chair, “you have so got it bad, babe.”

“Absolutely not. This is casual, we’re just having…fun. I am the definition of casual.”

His laugh echoes around the restaurant. “Okay, whatever, Aud. Spill. Tell meeverything. Don’t leave not one dirty, nitty-gritty detail out. I want to hear it all.”

I bite my lip, rolling it between my teeth before speaking. Part of me wants to keep Asher all to myself, a secret piece that I keep hidden from the world, and then the other part of me wants to stand tall from the tallest building in the world and scream it. Even if it is casual, and we’re strictly roommates…the things that he makes me feel are indescribable.

“He’s incredible, Elijah,” I breathe as I tuck my hair behind my ear. “I- I…never thought I could feel this way. So, I don’t know, free? If that makes sense. For once in my life, I feel like I can be whoever I want to be with him. I can explore and try new things. I can be anybody. Without judgment. He doesn’t care that I’m…inexperienced. He’s patient and tender.”

Elijah is practically bouncing in his seat as I talk, and it makes me smile.

“You’re like a kid in a candy store, you realize that?”

He nods, picking up his glass for another sip of margarita. “You have no idea. God, I’m so fucking excited to hear this.”

“It’s casual, and we’re both okay with that, but I still feel…connected to him, if that makes any sense. It’s like he just understands what I need, without me ever having to say it out loud. And beyond the physical…I like being around him. He makes me laugh, and we have fun together. I don’t have to be anyone but myself. I like how things are, and I just want to continue to have fun.”

“And you deserve it. You’re a queen, and you should accept nothing less than your worth,” Elijah says simply, downing the rest of his drink. “I have to get back to work, unfortunately, but how about Friday night we hit up our place for a few drinks?”

“I think Friday is actually the day that Alex asked to sleepover at Callum’s, so that works out great. Text me the details?”

He agrees, and we say goodbye, even though neither of us is ready for lunch to be over. I’ve missed him, and I’m so glad that he’s home.

---