Page 44 of Till The Sun Dies (Checkmate 2)

I cut myself.

“Hey.” She links her fingers with mine until we’re palm to palm. “It’s in the past. This doesn’t define you, this is just part of the roadmap of your life. You had a shitty year, and now you have a scar to show for it.”

“I’ll always see this scar and remember how weak and shitty I am.”

“No, Baby. You’ll always see this scar and remember how brave and wonderful you are. You’ll see it and remember what you overcame. Not everyone can overcome what you did. Not everyone comes out the other side.”

“I didn’t want to. I wasn’t strong enough.”

“And yet, here you are. You’re stronger than you know. I promise you.”

My emotions swing wildly, from uncontrollable tears, to silly laughter, back around to grief and loss. “I’m only here because Ang found me. Because he wouldn’t let me go.”

“And I’m only here because Kane wouldn’t let me go.” Moving away, she leans on one hand and shows off scarred ribs I barely recall seeing once before. “See my scar, Baby? Kane stitched me up. He saved me when I was bleeding and weak.”

“He stitched you?” I push her further over to get a closer look. She sits in this hospital shower in a bra and panties. I’m naked. But neither of us care as I practically crawl over her to inspect the ugly scar. “What the hell, Jess?”

“Well.” She flashes a playful grin. “I was sort of dating a criminal. I’d watched him kill someone. I wasn’t going to tell my family about letting a thug stitch me up.”

“You watched him kill someone?”

Sitting up slowly, she casts a glance toward the closed door. “He did it for me. He did it to save me, and I’m not sorry. That man deserved what he got, but this scar on my side… it shows I lived through something really horrible. I survived it, and now I’m stronger. And you,” she grabs my injured wrist, “this shows you survived something awful. It shows you’re a survivor. That you’re strong and brave. That you can overcome. Plus, I was feeling kinda lopsided, since we’ve always matched. I had a scar and you didn’t. It was weird.”

Tears and laughter escape me at the same time. “And now we match again. Same, but different.”

She nods. “Same, but different, just like always. You’re not broken, Baby. There’s nothing wrong with you. You tried to make the pain go away, and I won’t ever judge you for that. But now you know that option’s off the table, I won’t let you go, so we find a new way to cope. I’m going to make sure you’re okay. I’m going to make sure you can sleep without nightmares again, and I’m going to make it so men don’t scare you. The good ones, the right ones, are far more scared of us than we are of them. I’m going to make it so you can laugh again, and you’ll be able to have fun, dress up, go out. You’ll be free, Baby, and when that day comes, we’ll toast to new beginnings.”

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