Page 54 of Castling the Rook (Checkmate 3)

Phones ring around us as he lifts his chocolate covered hands and swallows the cookie. “I’m not getting involved. You kids need to figure this shit out on your own, then you need to stop acting like idiots. This is a workplace, not a sandbox, and I’m your chief, not your daddy.”

“She took my brownie, Chief! I was saving it. There’s gotta be something you can do about it.”

“I didn’t take it!” she screeches. “I didn’t take shit. I don’t want your crummy cakes, Cruz. I bring my own lunch.”

Alex giggles and fishes another cookie from the packaging. “Crummy cakes, Cruz. I love alliteration in an argument. It’s a sign of superior intelligence. Ants, alligators, apples, assholes.” He shoves a cookie in his mouth. “Bats, balls, boomerang, brontosaurus, bitches.” He gasps. “Not bitches! That was rude. I’m so sorry, Tate. You’re one of the guys, even if you’ve got a set of…” His eyes widen. “And a… instead of a…”

Libby takes a stalking step forward and studies our boss through narrowed eyes. The phones continue to trill, and though one sits right beside Oz’s hand, it rings out.

“Chief?” Libby stops six feet from his desk and tilts her head to the side. “You okay?”

He covers his mouth and giggles. He fucking giggles until his belly bounces. “I didn’t mean to talk about your boobies, Lib. Y’all! Did you stop to realize Jules’ boobs are gonnaexplodenow that she’s pregnant?” He cups his chest and creates a double chin as he checks himself out. “Her boobs are gonna be massive!” He snatches up another cookie and shoves it in his mouth until crumbs spray over his shirt. “My wife is pregnant, guys, and maybe he’ll tear her up downstairs, but up top, she’s gonna have giant melons.”

“Cruz!” Our young receptionist pokes her head around the corner. “Line four. Andi Conner.”

My eyes meet Oz’s. Like a slow motion movie, we break at the same time and dive for the phone. I fly over my desk, sending paperwork flying and stationery pinging off the wall, while Oz lands on my arm and crushes it against the solid wood of my desk. I snatch up the handle with my right hand and slam it against the side of my head until bells ring in my brain. “Ah, fuck! What? Dee? Hello, what?”

“Riley?” Not even Alex’s cackling drowns out the way my heart sighs at the sound of her voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, hold on.” I turn and shove Oz until he bounces off his desk and slams into Alex’s. Red faced, girly giggles, Alex remains in his chair and watches the show with cookie crumbs on his shirt.

“Hey, Dee.” I turn away, like that’ll stop them from listening. “I’m back. You arrived safe?”

“Yeah. I just walked out of the airport now. Had to wait to get my bags. I swear, who do I have to flash to get my bags unloaded first for a change?”

“No one.” I move around my desk and flop down so my back is to the idiots in the room. “I… uh… I wasn’t sure you were gonna call. I thought you’d ditched.”

“I told you I would. Listen; is everything okay with Oz? You texted and said he was being a dick. Then I spoke to Lindsi, who said she’d speak to Oz, which means Oz has probably already talked to you.”

“Yeah, ah, hold on.”

I put the phone down when Alex falls out of his chair and slams against the floor. Oz, with tears streaming over his face, leans over his best friend and cackles. “You got weed in those cookies, X? What the fuck is the matter with you?”

“I’m so fuckin’ hungry.” Chortling, Alex slaps a hand onto his desk and pulls down the almost empty tray of cookies. He pulls them to his chest and eats while lying on the floor. “Remember that time we ate pot brownies, Oz? That might’ve been the funniest day of my life.”

“Yeah.” Oz – always carefree and stupid – doesn’t fight his possibly stoned boss. He just snags another sleeve of cookies and lies on the floor.

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

“Riley? Riley? Riley? Riley? Riley?” Andi’s tinny voice echoes through the phone by my leg. “Riley!”

“Yeah?” I bring it back up. “I’m not sure this is a good time, Dee. My entire fucking station is falling apart. I think Alex might be stoned, Oz is pissing on legs, Libby’s stealing lunches, and… well…” I shake my head. “I have no clue what I’m supposed to do about it all.”

“I didn’t steal your stupid lunch.” Libby smacks me on the back of the head and shoves me forward until I have to catch myself before my nose slams against the wood. “I never stole your lunch, but if you can’t solve this case, then you don’t deserve your badge.”

“Riley!” Andi snaps again. “Did you take the tray of brownies to work? Are you insane? Are you trying to get me arrested?”

“What? No! What?”

“Pot brownies are for home use, dumbass! Not to feed to the chief of police.”

“Pot brownies?” And then it hits me. “You made pot brownies? Andrea! Fuck.”

Oz cackles on the floor. “I think we found your lunch thief. I can’t believe you never suspected it; X is the shiftiest bastard in this station.”

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