Page 72 of Castling the Rook (Checkmate 3)

“You can’t rep him, Jess! Jesus. One; you didn’t even sit the bar yet. And two; the security feed I watched seems to imply a conflict of interest.”

“I’m not moving. But I could do with a coffee. That’s what you do around here, isn’t it? You fetch coffee for the real cops.”

“No.”Asshole. “This is bigger than you know. You need to leave. Go back to Britt’s place and stay put. That’s what the chief told you to do, so why haven’t you done it?”

“Because I’m not a fucking sheep!” she shouts. “I don’t jump just because the chief told me to.”

“You should! He’s trying to keep you safe, dumbass.”

“I don’t need his help. I don’t need yours, either.” Sitting back, she folds her arms and drops my eyes. “Jules is gone; she did as she was told. She’s home and safe. Now I’m waiting for Kane.”

“He doesn’t want you here! He wants you behind the fighters’ gates. He wants you safe!”

“How could you possibly know what he wants?” she shoots back. “You literally don’t know him. You’re spouting off orders Alex laid down like the good little junior you are, but you don’t get to speak for Kane. You’re here to arrest him. You’ll shoot him the first chance you get, so go away.” She waves me off. “There are three people on this planet I trust. Kane’s one. My sister is another. You aren’t the third.”

I want to roar my frustration. I want to tug her argumentative ass out of that chair and send her home with my boot up her ass, but I do nothing like that. Turning away before I blow everyone’s cover, I stop on a dime when my eyes meet a pair that I’ve seen only in surveillance photographs in the boardroom.

“Oh, fuck!”

I reach for my gun, but I’m too slow, too distracted, as three loud pops echo in my brain and fire screams through my body.

Images of Andi flash through my mind; in the gown at Oz’s wedding. Without the gown a few hours later. At the lake. At the diner. In my home.

The body I’ve trained so hard for so long fails me. My legs drop out beneath me until my head slams against the concrete floor, and yet, just before the lights go out, Andi’s giggle is the last thing I hear. Not the twins’ screaming. Not Abel Hayes’ orders to get the girls. But Andi’s crazy laughter when she tricks me into swimming in the middle of the night. Or when she escapes my bed and comes back only when I carry her.

I lie on my side on the cold cop floor and wish it were Andi’s chest instead. I wish I could hear the beat of her heart beneath my ear just once more, I wish I could feel her warmth under my hands.

I wish, I wish, I wish.

But wishes are lies children tell themselves when they want something they know they can never have. Instead, what I get is fire racing through my belly as Abel takes the girls, then Andi’s beautiful smile at the forefront of my mind as I close my eyes and let sleep take me.

*

---