Page 7 of Playing for Keeps (Checkmate 4)

“Andi?”

“His leg, Lindsi!” I step forward with balled fists and prepare to fight for him. I’ll fight anyone. Any time. Whoever I need to fight to fix this for him. “What the fuck happened to his leg? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He… they…” Lindsi and I have something in common – maybe it’s the Conner genes – but we rarely cry. Like, ever! She was almost murdered by her late husband, and yet, nary a tear. But today, they slide along her cheeks as freely as they do mine. “His leg was dying, Dee. He was really sick. They found an infection in his blood, which turned septic.”

“So they amputated his fucking leg?”

“They had to!” she screams back. “They had to do it, or he would have died.”

“Was he awake to make that decision?” I thrust an arm toward the hall. “Was he active in choosing this? Because amputationshouldhave been the last fucking resort!”

Lips wobbling, she drops her eyes to the floor. “He wouldn’t wake up. He had an infection in his blood. His white blood cells were going crazy, and his fever just wouldn’t come down. The infection was spreading fast, and if they left it longer, they would have had to take more.”

I turn back to the sink as disgust rolls through my belly. I don’t know why I’m angry at her. I don’t have anyone to be angry at except myself. “He’s so angry, Linds. He’s furious. He didn’t want that.”

“He was mean to you, but he’s doing the best he can–”

“He’s allowed to be angry!” I spin back with balled fists. “They took his fucking leg! He likes to swim, Linds. He likes to dive, and go to the gym, and lift weights, and run in the mornings. He’s a cop, but you know Alex won’t let him come back to active duty. Does he seem like the kinda guy who’s gonna push paper all day for the rest of his life? He was getting ready for a marathon in March. That means running. Can’t do that with one fucking leg, Lindsi!”

Those Conner genes rear their ugly head when Lindsi’s angry eyes come up and meet my fury with her own. “You know better than that, Dee! You know he’ll be up again soon.”

“Not with the anger that he feels! He. Doesn’t. Want. This.” A billionwhat ifsandwhy notsrace through my mind. A billion plans; things I can do to help, things I can prepare to make this easier. He doesn’t want me here. He doesn’t want any of this. “He’s being discharged in two days? Where’s he going for rehab?”

She shakes her head. Bringing a hand up, she noisily swipes tears and boogers away. “He’s refusing. He wants to go home.”

“He can’t! Jesus! He doesn’t–”

“Insurance already acknowledged his wishes, Andi. He said it out loud, signed the papers to confirm it. No way in hell is the insurance company going to pay for that now that he said he was healthy enough to go home. His house is single story, his hallways wide. There’s nothing anyone can say or do to change this.”

“He needs help! Not to be dropped off at home with two thumbs up and agood luck!”

Dropping her shoulders, Lindsi’s anger drains and makes way for exhaustion.How long has she been in the hospital with Oz? How many nights has she not slept because of this?

“Oz said he and Alex will take shifts staying with him.” Clasping her fingers together, she studies the watch on her left wrist just so she doesn’t have to meet my eyes. “He’ll have a home nurse every day for the first little while to help dress his st–” She chokes on the word, looks into my eyes, and refuses to say it. She refuses to saystump. “His wound. He’s booked in to get the staples out in another week.”

My knees continue to shake. My hands shake. Hell, even my lips shake. I’m disgusted they did this to him. I’m absolutely fucking furious it happened when he was asleep and unable to tell them no. “When did they take his leg?”

“Umm…” She closes her eyes – squeezes an errant tear out – and thinks. “Thirteen days, I think. The night he was hurt, twenty-one days ago, he was sent straight to surgery, because…” She opens her eyes again. “Um… One bullet went straight through his stomach and out the other side. That should have been the scary part, but it’s healing up okay. But the other one, the one in his leg, it didn’t pass through. It’s like it exploded while inside, like a gunshot spray.” She opens her hands, expands them, as though I need help visualizing an explosion. “They sent him to surgery to remove everything, but, I mean, he was stable. He was hurt, and that was horrible, but he’s young and healthy, he was supposed to be stable. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Salty tears slide over my cheeks. Not loud, howling cries, but something worse. The silent kind that break you from the inside and wring you out.

“Um…” Her voice cracks. “That wasn’t the longest night of my life, but it was right up there. Alex and Oz were being treated for burns. Jess and Laine were being treated for burns. Jess’ boyfriend was dead. The whole town was a mess, and Alex was hurt, but still working. Oz was hurt, but he wouldn’t leave Alex, because that’s his best friend. Everything was crazy, and I was stuck in the middle trying to catch up to my husband, but needing to stay back and hold my babies.

“Through it all, Riley had a waiting room full of broken people waiting for him to come back out. It was scary, but he should have been fine, ya know? And he was! He woke the next day. He woke and said hello.” Her lips tremble. “He called me Andi. He thought I was you!” She runs a rough hand over her cheek and wipes away her tears. “Then he went back to sleep and didn’t wake again. They kept running tests, but he was getting worse and worse each day. His fever kept increasing, he wouldn’t react to any stimuli.Necrotic.” Her tear-filled eyes meet mine. “That’s the word they used when his leg started dying.Necrotic. They tried to save it. He was on antibiotics for days, but it was only spreading. It would have eventually come up to his knee, then his thigh. They would have had to take the whole leg if they left it much longer, and if they didn’t touch it at all, it would have killed him.” Stepping forward, she grabs my shaking hands and squeezes. “This was our only choice. This was thebestchoice. Missing half a leg isn’t a death sentence. You know this.”

“It is to him.” Leaning closer, I stare into her eyes and hiss through my teeth. “He’s angry, because to him, thisisas bad as it could get. In his mind, it’s all over, and it’s not fair, because no one gave him a choice.”

Disgusted, I drop her hands and push through the bathroom door. Steamrolling along the hallway, I pass my watchful family and ignore Alex as he stands guard at Riley’s door like I’m coming back for a second shot. Shaking my head and swiping my cheeks in case I missed some in the bathroom, I stop in front of Livi and smile like everything is okay. “Thanks for looking after Nacho, baby. I hope she was good for you.” I take the satchel from her lap and take comfort when Nacho relaxes at my touch. We’re still new together, still finding our rhythm, but she’s getting more and more comfortable each day. “Did she talk to you?”

Livi glances up with tears in her eyes and a quivering jaw. She’s being brave, but she heard the chaos, she saw me run away. “She talked heaps, Aunt Andi. I think she was sad you ran away.”

“Maybe.” I lean forward and drop a kiss on Liv’s head. “I’ll bring her around later, okay? You’ll have time to get to know her.”

“You’re staying?”

Every male in the waiting room watches us with intense eyes. Cupping my niece’s cheek, I ignore them. “I’m sticking, baby girl. But I’ve gotta run out for now; I’ve got errands to run.”

“Will you come back?”

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