Page 102 of Sacrifice the Knight (Checkmate 6)

“Eric…” For the first time in two months, her gentle hands come to my hair and cup my cheeks. It’s nothing more than her maternal side caring for someone who is hurt, but I can’t stop the fire that races through my veins at her touch.

“Derrick showed me this video of my beautiful wife, and it’s only because I knew her so well, that I had known her for so long, that I recognized her. She was beaten so bad, she was barely Gemma anymore. They’d tied her up and tortured her for information.” I meet Katrina’s eyes. “This is why we’re not allowed to tell our wives anything. This is why we’re encouraged not to have a wife at all. Kane held me still while they showed a fucking video of her crying, and then Callie ran into the frame and threw herself on her mom’s body.”

“Oh my God,” Katrina cries. “She was protecting her mommy.”

“Yes. And they both died for it.” For the first time in a long time, tears slide over my cheeks and drip off the tip of my nose. “They died because I wanted to talk to my wife and sing a lullaby to my daughter so she could go to sleep. They died because I disregarded everything I was trained to do, because I felt like the rules didn’t apply to us.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Eric.”

I push her hands off and sit back. “It wasliterallymy fault. They died because of me. And then I got scared, because the parallels are too close. It’s too close.”

“What’s too close?”

“You and Mac! I’m in love with you, Katrina, and I love your son. Mac and Callie are thesameage. Literally. They were born the same year. We were diapering babies at the same time, but you did yours here, and I did mine there. You were awake for the two a.m. feedings just like Gem was. And when you were struggling with an energetic four-year-old, I was burying mine. At the exact same fucking time! I left you because I’m terrified of it happening twice. A man shouldn’t be expected to do it even once. Twice is impossible.”

“Are they…” She swallows nervously. “Is Derrick still alive?”

“Yes.” I look up when she gasps. “Kane got us out of that room that day. We killed men, we hurt others, and later, when my team had a minute to plan, they ended that club and brought in the men who survived that meeting. Grudges haven’t been forgotten, Katrina, but for a minute there, I thought they had.” I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut. “I wasn’t running from you forever. I was just running long enough to catch my breath. But then I got home, and Derrick’s people had left messages on my machine. Aren knew about Kane and Jess. He knew about Jay and Soph. He knew about Cruz and Andi.”

“Did he… did he know about me?” Her face is so pale. “Does he know about my son?”

“No. Or if he does, he didn’t mention you. But it was enough.” I reach forward and grip her hands. “He has eyes on us, even if those eyes missed you and Mac. He has spies, and risking you wasn’t an option.”

“So you ran?”

“Yes.” I drop my head. “I ran, and I acted like I have no fucking clue who you are. We installed the best security system in your home that money can buy; I have your whole fucking life in my phone, and that watch you wear…” I turn her wrist. “It monitors your heart rate. I literally know where you are and if you’re breathing. Invasion of privacy? Yup. But do I care? Not one little fuckin’ bit. I never stopped caring about you, and I never stopped watching. But the thought of you being in danger was too much, so I walked.”

Silence overtakes the room for a beat while she glances between the photos in my living room, then my eyes. Like she needs the time to figure out her next move. Or approximately how many miles she has to move to escape me. “You’re a civilian now, right?”

“Yes.”

“And Kane is having babies.”

“Yes. But to be fair, that happened before the phone messages. He’s not panicking, but he’s not being complacent either. He’s taking measures to keep his family safe.”

“He’s saying he’s willing to risk it. He’s not putting his life on hold because of a threatening phone call.”

I look up and meet her eyes. “It’s more than a phone call, Katrina. It’s… They’re dangerous people. They have reach, and power, and good fucking memories. It’s been ten years, and that motherfucker still finds my new home, my new number, and leaves a message that he knew would get him slammed into solitary.”

“He must be really bored in prison.” Her lips twitch with a pathetic smile, but it drops again when I frown.

“This isn’t a joke to me. This is my wife and daughter, and now it’s you and Mac. It’s not a fucking joke.”

“I don’t think it’s a joke either,” she chokes out. “I think you’ve terrified me beyond sensible thought, and now I can’t think of anything reasonable or intelligent to say. You’re sitting here and telling me your family was brutally stolen from you, and then correlating that to me and my son. The son I’ve worked myself nearly to death to keep fed and safe. What the hell did you think would come of this conversation? A big kiss and a happy reunion?”

WhatdidI expect to come of this? When Angelo came back down to his garage where I just happened to be hanging out and sent me upstairs to face my demons, did I expect this would be the end of our pain and the start of a brave new team willing to walk forward together?

Did I expect my problems to be talked away? Did I expect forgiveness or a blind eye turned to my mistakes?

Yes, I kinda think I did expect all of that. Or at the very least, I hoped for it.

“I wanted you to know my truths. And to know that I never stopped loving you.” I don’t reach out when she stands and moves across the room. She acts as though she’s scanning the photos on my shelves again, but this time, it’s purely about avoidance. “I’d rather that you were pissed at me, but alive. Rather than in a relationship and dead. I’d rather not keep this secret from you, when Gem and Callie literally were my life for the longest time. They’re part of the very fabric of my soul, and hiding them is disrespectful. So if nothing else, I’m glad you know, and you also know that you need to be careful. My world isn’t safe, so now you’ve been warned.”

She turns back after a long minute and nibbles on her thumbnail. “Is there ever going to be a time where those people aren’t a threat to you? Derrick and whatshisname?”

“Derrick Ireland and Aren Aristov.” I pull in a long breath and let it out on a stilted exhale. “I honestly don’t know. Soph is taking care of some stuff; she’s doing what she does best with computers and may or may not be moving files around. She swears she’s taking care of them, and since I don’t know the details, I’m not guilty of anything that may or may not go down.”

She chokes out a soft laugh. “Sounds… nice and neat. And like a good defense should something happen and the case go to trial.”

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